Herald Sun - Switched On - - Monday -

ISHALL let the voiceover set it up for you: ‘‘ Tonight the search be­gins for Bri­tain and Ire­land’s best new mu­sic acts’’. There you go. Pretty ba­sic. The prize isn’t a record­ing con­tract though. Sort of a good thing. They’re not locked into any kind of slave labour ex­ploita­tion deal, would be one way to look at it. In­stead they get about $162,360 in prize money, that’s £100,000 quid roughly con­verted, and get to per­form at Wem­b­ley. Plus if you down­load any of the songs per­formed on the show, it says on Wikipedia, 100 per cent of the prof­its go to the artist.

And it’s not nec­es­sar­ily about sing­ing. It’s any in­stru­ment, any song. It be­comes ap­par­ent early on, if you use your own ma­te­rial you’re go­ing to have an edge here. I know, it fright­ened me as well, but at least three of these acts weren’t bad. Okay, maybe two. The girl named Hero who played the harp I could’ve done with­out.

So the au­di­tions are in Ed­in­burgh, Manch­ester and London. And where are the au­di­tions in Ire­land? Nowhere. Those peo­ple just have to get the boat over.

The judges are Dizzee Ras­cal, Jamie Cul­lum and Sharleen Spi­teri. From that band Texas. You’ll know her songs prob­a­bly.

Each per­former needs at

Judge dread: Dizzee Ras­cal least two yeses from the judges to get through.

I’ll tell you at what point I asked my­self why am I watch­ing this: when the first boy from the first act in­tro­duced him­self as Ma­son, and then said, M Dott. He should’ve just saidMDott and for­got­ten about the Ma­son bit al­to­gether. You don’t hear Snoop Dogg walk­ing out on stage go­ing, hello, my name’s Calvin. But M Dott’s band do write and pro­duce their own mu­sic. And be them­self, which you’ll agree is cru­cial. I have a feel­ing they’re go­ing to be all right be­cause this show is not go­ing to open with a crap act. They’re all right, all right. I’m re­lieved. They’re only, like 15 years old or sumfink in­nit.

Then there’s all this fake ten­sion as we wait for the judges to say yes or no. Must be the Mu­sic Fox8, 8.30pm

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