He looks terrified when the crew turns up at his work
THE looks on people’s faces when TV cameras suddenly appear can be pretty funny. Some will start preening themselves, others will hide; the really annoying ones will wave like lunatics and mouth ‘‘ hi mum’’.
Warehouse manager Karl Crampton looks terrified when the crew turns up at his work.
‘‘ What’s happening?’’ he asks hesitantly . . . I reckon he thinks he’s part of a sting on A Current Affair or Today Tonight.
Maybe he has unpaid library fines? They tell him he’s going on a holiday.
‘‘ What, right now? Oh, I’m so nervous,’’ he says as he looks shyly at the cameras.
Karl is adorable. He’s massively tall, but uses phrases like ‘‘ gosh’’ and ‘‘ fabulous’’. He’s also clearly besotted with his wife Lily, who has had a recent battle with cancer.
‘‘ Have you got any idea where we’re going,’’ host James Tobin asks . . . how the hell would he know that James, he’s in a limo on the way to the airport. Half an hour ago he was at work going about his business.
Turns out the couple is being sent to Port Lincoln in South Australia for a week’s holiday while comedian Colin Lane stays behind to help cover his job.
I really don’t understand why Lane is in this doing lame skits — are times really that tough since Lano and Woodley?
The scripting is pretty bad in parts too. I’m not sure if it’s laziness on the part of the writers, or if their sense of humour is that dull, that they think jokes like this are funny: ‘‘ He’s also someone who never lounges around. Karl works for Plush Sofas’’.
Oh yeah, they’ve really tried hard with that line. Sadly though, Karl and Lily’s romantic getaway is chaperoned by Tobin, who barely seems to leave their side.
James, you’re hanging around like a bad smell, stop third-wheeling.
First James and Karl go swimming with sealions, then the boys go swimming with Southern blue-fin tuna, all while Lily watches from the sidelines. I’m not sure she swims, which kind of makes the choice of activities and destination a little bizarre. Surely someone should have asked that question before planning the holiday for them?
Although I do love the tuna bloke who says the fishies in a standing start are faster than a Porsche 911. But they have no feet so how do they stand? No Leave, No Life Channel 7, Saturday, 6.30pm