REBEKAH DEVLIN OUT OF THE BOX
FEELING a little overwhelmed by the approach of December 25? This is the antidote to all that festive cheer, a bunch of Pommie celebs talking about how much they hate Christmas.
‘‘ You can’t put Christmas in a sack and drown it — it just goes on and on and on,’’ TV presenter Penny Smith says.
There’s something strangely endearing about a grump, espe- cially a funny grump. To be so hostile towards such a cherished holiday requires a lavish helping of self-belief/selfishness.
‘‘ What upsets me is I want to be jolly but I don’t feel I can be because I’m being told I have to be, and then that upsets all the jolliness,’’ comedian Mark Steel says.
‘‘ Christmas, once you get past a certain age, is just a reminder you’re getting closer to death,’’ media man Terry Christian says. The grumps cover every aspect of the season that induces hostility — sending Christmas cards, supermarket crushes, the group text, people who send pics of their pets in Santa hats and those Christmas songs they play over and over in stores, particularly Cliff Richard’s Mistletoe and Wine.
‘‘ I should be able to sue somebody, there should be somebody, somewhere that I should be able to deliver a writ to, to either get the money or the time back,’’ TV’s Andi Oliver says of Sir Cliff.
Yep, there’s a fair bit of hatred going and it’s pretty funny. But after a while, it just starts to sound like whingeing, and who really wants to sit around having a bunch of people complain to you? It’s Christmas after all.
They complain the Christmas season goes on too long. You’d think they might have followed their own advice.
At the 20-minute mark, this was heading for four-and-ahalf stars. By the 40-minute mark, you actually want to beat them with your bare hands, or hurl a plum pudding at their heads. The Grumpy Guide To Christmas ABC1, 10.10pm
Closer to death: Terry Christian.