Herald Sun - Switched On - - Thursday -

IUSED to do High­land danc­ing when I was at school. The swords were my spe­cial­ity, and I don’t mind telling you, I was ac­tu­ally pretty good. So even though most peo­ple think bag­pipes sound like a cat hav­ing the stuff­ing squeezed out of it, I adore them.

It’s not sur­pris­ing, then, that I’ma sucker for the Mil­i­tary Tat­too— go­ing to see it live in Ed­in­burgh is on my bucket list.

Well, it would be if I had one. But the 2009 show is a dis­ap­point­ment.

The acts are so-so and the com­men­tary from Iain An­der­son is mind-numb­ing. He mum­bles, makes no sense and is ei­ther blind­ingly ob­vi­ous, con­fus­ing, or bor­ing, or all of the above.

‘‘ Fan­fares and fire­works the or­der of the day here at the old cas­tle of the old tomb at the start of an­other surely mem­o­rable Ed­in­burgh Mil­i­tary Tat­too. For it is the 60th such oc­ca­sion when peo­ple in vast num­bers from across the world and over the years have throng (?) to the mag­nif­i­cent spec­ta­cle that is the cas­tle es­planade in the dusk.’’ Oh dear.

An­other gem: ‘‘ Oh yes, there’s some­thing in the Swiss air tonight’’, he says, in­tro­duc­ing the Swiss play­ing Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight. Groan.

Tat­too: bag­pipes in ac­tion.

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