DIANNE BUTLER OUT OF THE BOX
THIS isn’t much help, Citizen Kane at three o’clock in the afternoon. I sometimes don’t mind Saturdays, an old movie, if it’s at a normal time, or some weird show about a mass shooting.
Actually, there’s a movie about a mass shooting, but not the movie I want. 7Mate’s got something at 8.30pm tonight called Zero Hour: Massacre at Columbine High, but that sounds like it should be on at noon on a Monday.
My favourite Columbine film — if it’s all right to have a favourite— is Elephant. Gus Van Sant. It’s slow and moody and repeats scenes and I don’t expect to see it on 7Mate anytime in the future.
Your temptation might be to watch Raging Bull on ABC2 tonight, and I can’t stop you. Wouldn’t want to try. But let me just say this: I know there’s always been this carry-on, but I can name three films without even thinking about it in which Robert De Niro’s better.
And if you’ve ever seen Mean Streets and he’s standing there next to Harvey Keitel, well, it’s like a solar eclipse. Harvey Keitel being the moon in this analogy. Robert De Niro’s the sun. Stay with me.
And the ABC needs to stop showing the episode of Midsomer Murders where the school kid gets stabbed on the cross-country run and dies as he staggers across the finish line in front of everyone in the quadrangle or whatever you call it. It’s on again tonight.
I hate this show and I still know how this episode ends. Begins. What takes place in the middle of it. What Joyce wears to the blinkin’ ribbon cutting.
So to recap: there is only one show to watch tonight and it’s this: Creature from the Black Lagoon. The monster movie. King Kong in a swamp, basically. Beautiful black and white photography. And a great pair of swimmers on Julie Adams. Creature from the Black Lagoon ABC2, 10.40pm Citizen Kane ABC1, 3pm
Kane: Orson Welles