DIANNE BUTLER OUT OF THE BOX
ISWEAR this is true — every person I’ve mentioned Ugly Americans to, they’ve had exactly the same reaction: Oh, OK — a documentary? So to recap: Ugly Americans is not a documentary. It’s a cartoon. Parts of it will feel very real, though. The stuff that takes place in the Department of Integration, for instance, where the main characters all work: Callie Maggotbone, Leonard Powers, Twayne the Bone Raper — one of the Connecticut Bone Rapers — and Mark Lilly.
Twayne is in middle management, plus he’s a demon of some sort who probably has three nipples, because tonight he’s being fitted for a triplebreasted suit so he can look his best for Treegasm, the oncein-a-generation mating festival for Central Park’s tree creatures, or treetures.
Tourists are flocking to the city from all over the world, Good Morning New York reports. Media coverage is almost at saturation point, driving Mark Lilly crazy.
He hates Treegasm, he tells his flatmate Randall (a zombie). Randall, who will lose one of his favourite body parts in an emotional yet hilarious sidebar to this main tree storyline tonight, is a big fan of Treegasm.
Cool: Twayne and Leonard
‘‘ It combines the beauty of nature with the filth of pornography,’’ he says as he changes channels and begins watching Treegasm: A Retrospective, which includes old footage from the last festival that looks a lot like Woodstock.
This is a crazy show, but not that crazy. Mark is the only human in it — he’s a social worker. Tonight he’s assigned to Neil and Nicky, the two trees who are going to be having sex. (Nicky’s proud parents are interviewed about the big event: ‘‘ We chose Neil because he’s the only tree around.’’) Everyone else in the show is undead or supernatural something or other. Callie, I’m positive, is the devil’s spawn Mia Farrow gave birth to in Rosemary’s Baby ... Ugly Americans SBS One, 10pm