Dan­ish, as a pas­try, seems easy enough. As a lan­guage, less so

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OK, NO, it’s not the roy­als you want. But I think if you’re in­clined to­wards a doc­u­men­tary on a dis­tant monar­chy, you won’t care which one it is. And Princess Mary, of Den­mark, well, she’s Our Mary isn’t she.

Not that there’s much of her in the first episode of The King­dom Be­hind the Scenes. Bit dis­ap­point­ing on that front.

I was hop­ing to see in­side her wardrobe, maybe go shop­ping with her and/or her royal shop­pers, see how that works.

How would that work, do you think? Peo­ple come up to the palace with a se­lec­tion of frocks? She rings up?

Would that be Chanel, her jacket in the show, do you think? I thought maybe not, just Chanel-ish. Might not be the go, be­ing filmed for a doc­u­men­tary for the tax­payer, wear­ing a Chanel jacket for no rea­son.

What we do see of her is im­pres­sive. Dan­ish, as a pas­try, seems easy enough. As a lan­guage, less so. She speaks it in her in­ter­view about the Queen here, which I guess she’d have to — it’d be a bit strange if she didn’t — plus she looks beau­ti­ful. Tas­ma­nia — great for the skin, ob­vi­ously. But mostly this episode fo­cuses on her mother-in-law, Queen Mar­grethe II.

My favourite bit is where it’s her birth­day and she has the fam­ily, in­clud­ing the dachshunds, and a few oth­ers up for cake, and she’s stand­ing there greeting peo­ple with a drink and a fag in the same hand.

Mar­grethe’s fa­ther was King Fred­erik IX, and she be­came Den­mark’s first fe­male sov­er­eign when he died in 1972. She’s ac­com­plished in a va­ri­ety of ar­eas, and I hope this comes out over the course of the doc­u­men­tary. There are six more episodes.

I have to say, even with the ser­vants and the tiaras and the yacht­ing hol­i­days, it does seem like a busy job that could get te­dious pretty quickly. The film­mak­ers had ac­cess for a year, so al­low­ing for cen­sor­ship and pret­ty­ing up, we should get some idea of what level of bore­dom it all en­tails. I know I was bored af­ter half an hour.

This week, the Queen’s list of jobs in­cludes wel­com­ing a new heir to the throne and a new prime min­is­ter, but I’m not quite clear within what time frame this takes place. And I’d like to know how Prince Joachim — Fred­erik’s younger brother — fills his day. He got di­vorced, ap­par­ently, which his fa­ther, Hen­rik Mar­grethe’s hus­band, refers to obliquely in the back of a car on his way to the hos­pi­tal with Joachim’s two sons af­ter Joachim’s sec­ond wife has just given birth to heir #7.

It’s the touch of Dy­nasty I needed. I hope there’s more. Dy­nasty? There’s a hint of spice in this doc­u­men­tary on the Dan­ish royal fam­ily.

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