DIANNE BUT­LER OUT OF THE BOX

Herald Sun - Switched On - - Monday -

JUDD Nel­son? Has any­one thought of Judd Nel­son to re­place Char­lie Sheen? I like Rob Lowe best out of the list of names that are go­ing round, and clearly he’s the most plau­si­ble if one of the cri­te­ria is they need a guy who can get all pos­si­ble women into bed, but is that re­ally Char­lie Sheen’s ap­peal?

Sheen was never hot in the way Rob Lowe’s hot. The only thing I can see be­ing against Judd Nel­son is his age. And the fact he’s been on the show be­fore, which I found out just then when I looked him up on IMDb to see to what de­gree he was em­ployed.

He still looks all right, though. No worse than Char­lie Sheen any­way. Or Jon Cryer.

If it comes to that, who looks more like they spent the bet­ter part of their adult life in­doors knock­ing them­selves about? Not Char­lie Sheen.

All the re­place­ment names com­ing up are from the old Brat Pack, or ad­juncts: James Spader, Matt Dil­lon, John Cu­sack . . .

John Cu­sack. Please. If they went down that road, they’d have to re­place Jon Cryer with Ethan Hawke and the kid with Dakota Fan­ning. And then sack all the writers.

But who cares? Prob­a­bly re­ally only the net­work and the spon­sors.

It’ll be a weak old show with­out Char­lie Sheen. And it’s pretty weak now.

They’ve fi­nally got around to a Ponzi sto­ry­line tonight, and nat­u­rally it in­volves the chi­ro­prac­tor brother as the cheat who’s not above tak­ing money from his mother.

But she’d do the same if the shoe was on the other foot, you get the feel­ing.

Char­lie’s still in­volved with Rose, who is still mar­ried to Manny Quinn, a card­board cutout in a bad wig.

This episode was called Three Hook­ers and a Philly Cheeses­teak in the US, but by the time it got to our del­i­cate ears the Three Hook­ers had gone miss­ing.

This made me laugh more than the show it­self. Two and A Half Men Chan­nel 9, 7.30pm

Looks OK: Jon Cryer

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