DIANNE BUTLER OUT OF THE BOX
CSI New York, the high-end CSI, hasn’t gone at all — it’s on GEM. A tremendous relief to all of you, I’m sure. It’s a bit of a disturbing opening tonight though.
Stella and Mac — who sound as if they could be the name of an Italian hamburger but who, in fact, are a pair of detectives played by at least one very good actor — are going down the street, carrying a Christmas tree.
There’s some idle chat going on about childhood memories. It reminded me, to a very tiny degree, of the scene in The Godfather where Kay and Michael are walking to their hotel and Kay sees the newspaper headline ‘‘ Vito Corleone Feared Murdered’’.
And, well, it’s all over for Kay from that point.
It was probably too am- bitious thinking there’d be some kind of Godfather moment in CSI New York.
Instead, tonight’s dead person is a homeless man who’s been run over. Or is it?
At first he looked as if he’d been deliberately set alight and left to die.
But after further inquiries it emerges he’d been deliberately run over and burnt with petrol and left to die; a vastly more hands-off crime, and
Fabulous: Kim Kardashian therefore not nearly so terrible. Plus he wasn’t homeless.
Stella remembers him from back when he had stringy hair and body odour and she used to give him small amounts of money, and squat down on her haunches and counsel him about turning his life around.
Well, something must’ve taken, because he ended up with a beautiful girlfriend and possibly murdered by a suspect who goes out with Debbie Fallon. Who is — brace yourselves — played by Kim Kardashian. Yes. She’s the fabulous guest star, looking like the KK we’re familiar with: Extreme makeup, extra hair.
It’s a small role, not a lot of dialogue, some meaningful staring, but it’s terribly important. As is only fitting really. CSI New York GEM, 8.30pm