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IWON­DER if you get Ozzy’s nor­mal voice or him sound­ing more rock ’ n’ roll relic when you buy the Ozzy Os­bourne sat­nav? Ju­lia Zemiro said she got one and ad­vises against them, be­cause he has no idea where he’s go­ing or what he’s do­ing. Was there a boom tish from Peter Lus­combe when she got to the end of her sen­tence? Like Ozzy, I can’t re­mem­ber. I watched an episode of Clas­sic Al­bums not long ago, they did Black Sab­bath’s Para­noid, and Ozzy seemed about as doughy as Barack Obama. Fan­tas­tic se­ries. Let’s talk about Rock­wiz now. Ques­tion: When it’s your turn on this show, will you lie when they get to the part about what was your first gig. Even if it was John Wil­liamson on the back of a truck in War­i­alda? Maybe if you were one of those celebri­ties who’s bought into your own brand, you might. I think we’ve all seen a bit of that on Rock­wiz. Or you’ll jet­ti­son the un­cool early shows in favour of later ones. That hap­pens. Noth­ing wrong with that I don’t s’pose. Liars.

Some­times I think I shouldn’t say who the guests are, in case fig­ur­ing it out on

Lost: Ju­lia Zemiro

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