Well Isles be, an Olympic opening ceremony to inspire wonder
BUT will the opening ceremony be as exciting as Karmichael Hunt kicking a goal after the siren? I can’t remember anything that happened at the last Olympic Games. Nothing. Matthew Mitcham, if you put real pressure on me. Did they even have an opening ceremony? Everything that happens in China looks like an opening ceremony to me. Danny Boyle’s the artistic director of London’s, so I’m most definitely going to be watching on Saturday (the replay at a normal waking hour). I can see why they chose him. I didn’t see Slumdog Millionaire but I saw Trainspotting — and clearly so did the London Olympics organisers who hired Boyle— in which Ewan McGregor (pictured) dived into a toilet bowl and Robert Carlyle glassed somebody in a pub and Kevin McKidd became a heroin addict and died. He’s in Grey’s Anatomy now, dying a slower death. And Carlyle is Rumpelstiltskin in Once Upon a Time, just as psychotic as he was in Trainspotting.
Boyle’s named his Olympics show The Isles of Wonder, and, well, no wonder, given what he’s capable of. But now reports are coming out of the UK about the bucolic scene that’s going to greet us on the weekend, a Shakespeareinfluenced tableau with grass and sheep and Sir Paul McCartney. I hope the security people are the same ones who turned the microphones off mid-song during Bruce Springsteen’s show at London’s Hyde Park the other night, as he and McCartney were singing Twist and Shout, because it was past the 10.30 curfew.
There’d better be a bit of David Beckham — in a speaking role —– Vivienne West- wood, Paul Weller, Joan Collins and no sign of the Middleton sister, or the whole thing will rightly be considered a failure.
And I’ll tell you what else is weird — the gold medals this time are the heaviest yet: 400g. And 400g would be fantastic if there was that much actual gold in them, given the price of gold.
But there isn’t. I hope this isn’t a sign.