Clos­ing with a whim­per

Herald Sun - Switched On - - Front Page -

SO the Spice Girls will be ‘‘ singing’’ at the Olympics clos­ing cer­e­mony but not El­ton John. Hmmm. I’ve al­ways thought a large part of Eng­land’s mu­sic scene was rub­bish and there we are. Love Vic­to­ria Beck­ham’s clothes, though. And where are the Rolling Stones? In their hyper­baric cham­bers, ob­vi­ously, but Mick’s a mas­sive im­pe­ri­al­ist, and monar­chist, could they re­ally keep him away? What song would they do is the ques­tion. There’s plenty they wouldn’t do. Couldn’t do. Maybe Mick will do Danc­ing In the Street again, this time with Rob­bie Wil­liams, keep things happy. Ev­ery­one will need it af­ter that tiny per­cent­age of Pink Floyd have played Wish You Were Here. I don’t know which per­cent­age, I couldn’t even tell you who’s still alive out of that band, or who are legally al­lowed to be on the same stage.

There’ll be Cold­play, aw­ful sta­dium blowhards, but no Oa­sis, be­cause they’d glass each other, and no Bee Gees, even though there’s still one left and they were one of the big­gest bands in the world.

U2? Seem like an over­sight? Of course they may very well play and then it won’t be an over­sight at all, I’m just go­ing on gos­sip and idle chat. Adele but no Du­ran Du­ran. One Di­rec­tion but we had them first.

It’s all look­ing fairly B-list, isn’t it? But if form holds, Eddie and Leila will read off their script, the same one ev­ery other tele­vi­sion pre­sen­ter around the world is read­ing, about how this is the Rolling Stones’ 13th Games and how if these Games were held be­fore the Good Fri­day peace agree­ment maybe U2 wouldn’t have been in­cluded at all.

I don’t know if we need to get up at 4.30 Mon­day morn­ing af­ter all. Un­less you are any­way for your job/baby/blad­der. And they’ll want to do a bet­ter job mix­ing the mu­sic than they did for the Open­ing Cer­e­mony or we’ll be need­ing to hold an­other repub­lic ref­er­en­dum again next week. But not while Home and Away’s on, we don’t want to miss any of that car crash.

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