Closing with a whimper
SO the Spice Girls will be ‘‘ singing’’ at the Olympics closing ceremony but not Elton John. Hmmm. I’ve always thought a large part of England’s music scene was rubbish and there we are. Love Victoria Beckham’s clothes, though. And where are the Rolling Stones? In their hyperbaric chambers, obviously, but Mick’s a massive imperialist, and monarchist, could they really keep him away? What song would they do is the question. There’s plenty they wouldn’t do. Couldn’t do. Maybe Mick will do Dancing In the Street again, this time with Robbie Williams, keep things happy. Everyone will need it after that tiny percentage of Pink Floyd have played Wish You Were Here. I don’t know which percentage, I couldn’t even tell you who’s still alive out of that band, or who are legally allowed to be on the same stage.
There’ll be Coldplay, awful stadium blowhards, but no Oasis, because they’d glass each other, and no Bee Gees, even though there’s still one left and they were one of the biggest bands in the world.
U2? Seem like an oversight? Of course they may very well play and then it won’t be an oversight at all, I’m just going on gossip and idle chat. Adele but no Duran Duran. One Direction but we had them first.
It’s all looking fairly B-list, isn’t it? But if form holds, Eddie and Leila will read off their script, the same one every other television presenter around the world is reading, about how this is the Rolling Stones’ 13th Games and how if these Games were held before the Good Friday peace agreement maybe U2 wouldn’t have been included at all.
I don’t know if we need to get up at 4.30 Monday morning after all. Unless you are anyway for your job/baby/bladder. And they’ll want to do a better job mixing the music than they did for the Opening Ceremony or we’ll be needing to hold another republic referendum again next week. But not while Home and Away’s on, we don’t want to miss any of that car crash.