Eastwood shoots himself in the foot
SHOULDN’T there be more Clint Eastwood movies on television this week? Unforgiven? Gran Torino? Dirty Harry? The one with the chimpanzee? Rushed into one of the schedules somewhere to remind us how dangerous guns are if they fall into the hands of the dangerously unhinged?
Just kidding. Nobody can rush anything into a schedule anymore. Everything’s planned a year out. That’s why the networks get into such a tizzy when one of their shows falls over. It’s all tighter than Warnie’s face.
Oh, there’s a bit of room to move on their multichannels, but increasingly they need them free so they have somewhere to dump shows when they axe them.
This is why I love the US presidential elections so much. The Conventions, I almost have no idea why, are close to riveting. And they rate, is the other thing. People actually watch them, in droves. More than football!
They’re live, which means anything can happen, even though they’re as regimented and orchestrated as an Academy Awards campaign. But who expected Bill Clinton to be so ‘‘ fiery and long’’ as CNN put it, kind of weirdly. Or Clint Eastwood to be so terrible?
I love their elections much more than ours. I look at ours and wonder if anybody in either of the major parties has ever watched television. I blame compulsory voting. Nobody here has to do anything to get us to the ballot box so they don’t. It’s so boring.
And worse, there’s nothing good to look at. This is why newsreaders were invented. And Ronald Reagan. That old Jay Leno line about how politics is acting for ugly people doesn’t apply anymore.
Or not at this level I’m talking about. You’re not going to get elected president if you’re ugly. Ugly on the inside, maybe, but not if you’re in need of a makeover.
I watched a lot of coverage of the Conventions on CNN, Bloomberg, BBC, PBS Newshour on SBS One, even Fox News and none of them had a worm. They used actual vertebrate people to gauge intentions and attitudes and reactions. Not a worm. Interesting. Seemed to work though. Maybe they’re saving this type of innovation for the debates next month, or maybe, like the rest of us, they find it unfathomable idiocy. Like lining up Clint Eastwood. Eastwood has, however, exposed Republican strategists as dunderheads of the thickest order. That right there should make people not want to vote for the party. Plus he made people in their 80s look bad — the Queen, the Rolling Stones — which was really dumb, since a lot of them are also Republican voters. ( Not the Queen, obviously, she’s totally monarchist.)
The same thing happens here after the Logies: ‘‘ Whose genius idea was it to book Gretel Killeen/Clint Eastwood?’’ and everyone talks about it but Gretel’s/Clint’s phone doesn’t ring for the next five years.
Make their day: Clint Eastwood has exposed Republican strategists as dunderheads.