DIANNE BUTLER OUT OF THE BOX
IT’S only about six months late but, gee, this’ll be handy next season: a draft excluder. Is this some sort of salary cap? A new tanking penalty? No. It’s what you call those snakes you put across your door if you have an old house and want to stop gales coming in that render heating a complete waste of time and money. Tara says you’ll need a long sock (bloody long sock, Tara) and rice. Obviously the sock is in South Sydney or North Melbourne colours. So get that done, then make Ed’s steamed and battered sausages for Grand Final snacking. Or, you know, don’t.