My Kitchen Rules very bland fare

Herald Sun - Switched On - - On The Couch -

THE first cou­ple to cook on My Kitchen Rules on Mon­day night say they’re a bit like Packed to the Rafters. I kept watch­ing any­way. And it was like the Rafters. I was bored wit­less. And I think so were the oth­ers at the ta­ble.

Julie was too busy ar­gu­ing with Dave about the gela­tine and had he thrown it in the rub­bish. If she knew what gela­tine really was she’d speak more qui­etly, I kept think­ing. Whereas ev­ery­one else was just sit­ting in si­lence. I don’t know why. And if they did talk, they whis­pered. Se­ri­ously. Un­less it was to the cam­era.

Pete Evans ob­served that Jessie and Biswa— this year’s equiv­a­lent of last year’s win­ners, what­ever their names were — were a ‘‘ lit­tle bit star-struck’’ when he and Manu ar­rived.

He was ges­tur­ing to Manu, but I braced my­self, be­cause the theme of the din­ner was 1970s, and you know how th­ese things can turn.

But I was also won­der­ing why Dave and Julie, who live in Mel­bourne, went to the Vic­to­ria Mar­ket to buy their wal­laby (yes, wal­laby) but then went to Coles to buy eggs and choco­late.

There were choco­late places right be­hind them where they bought their meat. Is this what spon­sor­ship leads to? And how long be­fore Coles and Wool­worths launch an open-air mar­ket-style su­per­mar­ket of their own?

I guess My Kitchen Rules will beat MasterChef: The Pro­fes­sion­als in the rat­ings, be­cause My Kitchen Rules styles it­self as a home-cook­ing show and that’s hard to go past for a lot of peo­ple.

MasterChef: The Pro­fes­sion­als is the bet­ter show, so far. My Kitchen Rules has a bit of an iden­tity cri­sis, and its best chance to shine — when peo­ple are at home, putting on their din­ner party— felt for­mal and con­trived.

But if you don’t like it, who cares, be­cause sud­denly it’s as if the rat­ings have ac­tu­ally started. They haven’t — you only have to turn on Nine to know that. But Packed to the Rafters starts on Tues­day, and Par­ent­hood (with Ray Ro­mano in a very solid role) and a hi­lar­i­ous new show called The Mindy Project on Mon­day.

Wise move, eas­ing Packed to the Rafters back in with not a lot of pres­sure. It feels very frag­ile. Like it’s had a sur­gi­cal pro­ce­dure and can’t walk prop­erly. If only it had had work done.

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