Re­live the hor­ror of Amity-ville

Herald Sun - Switched On - - New Series -

THEY did this on Amer­ica’s Next Top Model — had an All-Stars sea­son — for the ones who weren’t good enough but who were, if ev­ery­one was hon­est, their favourites.

Dan and Dani might’ve en­dured some on­line ridicule when they were on The Block, which means noth­ing any­way, but they came out of it richer and loved by peo­ple they’d never heard of. And isn’t that the rea­son any­one goes on tele­vi­sion? To be adored by strangers?

Now they’re back. And this time I’m go­ing to count the num­ber of times Dan says, ‘‘ You’re jok­ing me, Keith.’’

The way I’m try­ing to keep track of ‘‘ Bring it on’’ in My Kitchen Rules. The Block is more Oh My Gods. Es­pe­cially be­cause this All Stars sea­son features de­cep­tively at­trac­tive, her­itage­listed houses in Bondi that are frilly at the front, and then which fall away to a gap­ing wound out the back.

Ev­ery­one pulls up in their new Suzuki Grand Vi­taras on Mon­day night and oohs and aahs and starts pic­tur­ing, I don’t know, valances and mo­saics and al­ready spend­ing the hun­dreds of thou­sands they’ll make on auc­tion day. Even when they walk through their house, that sense of not hav­ing to ac­tu­ally ren­o­vate any­thing —

They still go shop­ping for pretty stuff way too soon

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