Love, re­al­ity and the date we need

Herald Sun - Switched On - - Adamhills -

OB­VI­OUSLY Chris Brown will have to be the host. One of the most at­trac­tive men on tele­vi­sion, on the Ten pay­roll, prob­a­bly sin­gle, proven to be able to talk to fe­male an­i­mals.

I don’t know why any­body thinks Bach­e­lor is any­thing but a ge­nius idea.

I watched that se­ries Burn­ing Love on MTV ear­lier this year— it was the same kind of thing. The guy was a fire­man and he’d present the girls he liked with a hose ev­ery week.

Jennifer Anis­ton got sent home on night one, so his stan­dards could hardly have been higher.

The woman of his dreams was Bal­le­rina, who if you looked closer, al­though you didn’t re­ally want to, was Mr Chow from The Hang­over movies. Their re­la­tion­ship didn’t last as long as ei­ther of them ide­ally hoped, but still, love’s where you find it, right?

The Bach­e­lor will be slightly dif­fer­ent. You’d imag­ine. But gee, a dat­ing show is over­due in this coun­try. I’ve been say­ing this for ages.

I had it con­firmed by Rhys, who won MasterChef Pro­fes­sion­als and lamented, in a post-win in­ter­view, that even af­ter all the ex­po­sure and the blah blah he still didn’t have a girl­friend.

Maybe I should’ve gone on Farmer Wants a Wife, he said. Farmer Wants a Flippin’ Wife. Th­ese are the lengths sin­gle peo­ple, ad­dled by lone­li­ness and de­spair, are pre­pared to go to find com­pan­ion­ship and love . . . or not love ob­vi­ously . . . like. To find like.

I used to work with a woman, aged maybe 40, di­vorced, two kids. Feisty and witty but not what you’d ex­actly call hot. In a mo­ment of hys­te­ria, she joined a dat­ing web­site. She never had more sex in her life.

Any­one who’s watched Farmer Wants a Wife knows full well the quiet panic that un­der­scores ev­ery thrilling/te­dious mo­ment in that se­ries. What’s wrong with it is that stupid, coy ve­neer, where Natalie keeps push­ing them to ad­mit they’re in love with this per­son they’ve just met.

The Bach­e­lor will have to tread a fine line be­tween ro­mance and an old 1980s’ Per­fect Match sex party, where strangers went away to­gether for the week­end.

But it will need a dose of that re­al­ity, that ac­knowl­edge­ment that, yes, adults have been known to have sex be­fore mar­riage, in­deed with­out mar­riage, that’s gravely miss­ing on Farmer Wants a Wife.

I don’t think The Bach­e­lor is the risk it ap­pears for Ten. Ten’s prob­lem is get­ting peo­ple to watch it.

Even when it has a fan­tas­tic show — i.e. The Amer­i­cans — peo­ple aren’t go­ing there. But things change. The Bach­e­lor is a big show. So is the idea. Peo­ple will want to see this. Th­ese women aren’t go­ing to be des­per­ate 20-yearolds with their bo­soms out. They’ll be 35.

The

Best man: Chris Brown would make the ideal host.

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