Love, reality and the date we need
OBVIOUSLY Chris Brown will have to be the host. One of the most attractive men on television, on the Ten payroll, probably single, proven to be able to talk to female animals.
I don’t know why anybody thinks Bachelor is anything but a genius idea.
I watched that series Burning Love on MTV earlier this year— it was the same kind of thing. The guy was a fireman and he’d present the girls he liked with a hose every week.
Jennifer Aniston got sent home on night one, so his standards could hardly have been higher.
The woman of his dreams was Ballerina, who if you looked closer, although you didn’t really want to, was Mr Chow from The Hangover movies. Their relationship didn’t last as long as either of them ideally hoped, but still, love’s where you find it, right?
The Bachelor will be slightly different. You’d imagine. But gee, a dating show is overdue in this country. I’ve been saying this for ages.
I had it confirmed by Rhys, who won MasterChef Professionals and lamented, in a post-win interview, that even after all the exposure and the blah blah he still didn’t have a girlfriend.
Maybe I should’ve gone on Farmer Wants a Wife, he said. Farmer Wants a Flippin’ Wife. These are the lengths single people, addled by loneliness and despair, are prepared to go to find companionship and love . . . or not love obviously . . . like. To find like.
I used to work with a woman, aged maybe 40, divorced, two kids. Feisty and witty but not what you’d exactly call hot. In a moment of hysteria, she joined a dating website. She never had more sex in her life.
Anyone who’s watched Farmer Wants a Wife knows full well the quiet panic that underscores every thrilling/tedious moment in that series. What’s wrong with it is that stupid, coy veneer, where Natalie keeps pushing them to admit they’re in love with this person they’ve just met.
The Bachelor will have to tread a fine line between romance and an old 1980s’ Perfect Match sex party, where strangers went away together for the weekend.
But it will need a dose of that reality, that acknowledgement that, yes, adults have been known to have sex before marriage, indeed without marriage, that’s gravely missing on Farmer Wants a Wife.
I don’t think The Bachelor is the risk it appears for Ten. Ten’s problem is getting people to watch it.
Even when it has a fantastic show — i.e. The Americans — people aren’t going there. But things change. The Bachelor is a big show. So is the idea. People will want to see this. These women aren’t going to be desperate 20-yearolds with their bosoms out. They’ll be 35.
Best man: Chris Brown would make the ideal host.