20 THINGS YOU MISSED
1 After another riveting grand final, the Queensland Firebirds repeated as victors of netball’s ANZ Championship. The Firebirds’ 69-67 double extra-time win, once again over the NSW Swis, was the first back-to-back in ANZ Championship history ... and the last, as the trans-Tasman comp is overhauled from next season.
2 Despite what is seemingly the most airtight case for a blanket ban for systematic doping, the IOC doesn’t expel Russia out of the Rio Olympics, instead passing the buck to the various sports federations. Russia’s track and field competitors are among the athletes ousted; the one Russian allowed to compete, in a win for Olympic lechers everywhere, is US-based long jumper/supermodel Darya Klishina.
3 An Aussie rules footballer playing in a Tasmanian league became the 12th player to kick 200 goals in a season. Rohan Baldock, of South Burnie in the Darwin Football Association, rang up the double ton with one home-andaway match to spare. Baldock happens to be South Burnie’s playing coach, so, you know, his team-mates understand that they have to get him the ball, or else.
4 A pair of brother academics published a paper in a physics journal explaining the mathematics of spin bowling. Australians Ian and Garry Robinson’s calculations find that gravity, drag and Magnus force have great effect before the ball ever hits the pitch. Evidently, the Australian cricket team didn’t read the paper before heading to Sri Lanka, where the Aussies somehow lost the first Test in Kandy despite dismissing the hosts in the first innings for 116.
5 Daniel Ricciardo rang up 100 grands prix (love that plural) in Germany, finished on the podium and pulled off a shoey to celebrate. Why shouldn’t racing in F1 be fun?
6 More than 3000 tests were conducted at the Tour de France to make sure nobody was using a motor in their bicycle. The sport’s organising body, the UCI, happily reports none of the tests were positive – but we all know how to feel when the UCI tells us there are no positive tests.
7 Jarryd Hayne finally explains why he le the NFL – a lack of reserve grade. “If I went back there to the NFL it’d be one of those things where I’d be a second- or third-string guy helping out, but not really geing a lot of game time,” he told The Locker Room podcast.
8 Australia wins the Quidditch World Cup in Germany, beating the rest of the muggles at the Harry Po er
inspired game without the benefit of magic. Always thought that Quidditch had an extremely strong resemblance to AFL ...
9 In an interview for the ages, Mark Jackson unloaded on host Mike Sheahan on the veteran AFL journalist’s Open Mike program. Jacko sure let people know how he really felt – among the key takeaways were how much he hated Sheahan (“I hope you get cancer”), his view on the burgeoning women’s game (“I don’t think they should be inseminated at the top level of Australian rules football”) and his thoughts on modern players (“false alarmists and impostors”).
10 Chicago White Sox pitcher Chris Sale was suspended by his team for a novel offence. Sale so disliked the team’s throwback uniform for an upcoming game that he cut his kit with a knife. To be fair, Sale had public sentiment on his side – the White Sox’s 1976 duds are widely considered to be one of the worst baseball uniforms ever.