JOKE OF THE WEEK: THE STOCKMARKET REPORT
DID you hear this Stock Market Report for last week?
Helium was up, feathers were down, paper was stationary.
Flourescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives went up sharply, cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading, light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom, nappies remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed on an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up, Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit, sun peaked at midday, and balloon prices were inflated.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market!