Mum’s the word

Kyabram Free Press - - NEWS -

THIS was sub­mit­ted by a Traps reader and we are sure a lot of our other read­ers will re­late to it: MY MEAN MOTHER I had the mean­est mother in the world.

While kids I knew had lol­lies for break­fast, I had to eat cereal, egg and toast. While other kids had cans of drink and lol­lies for lunch I had to have a sand­wich.

As you can guess my din­ner was not only dif­fer­ent from other kids — I had to eat it at a ta­ble and not in front of the television.

My mother also in­sisted on know­ing where we were at all times. You’d think we were on a chain gang or some­thing. She had to know who our friends were, where we were go­ing. She even told us what time we had to be home.

I’m ashamed to ad­mit it but my mother ac­tu­ally had the nerve to break child labour laws. She made me wash dishes, make our own beds and even learn to cook. That poor woman must have stayed awake at nights just think­ing up things for us kids to do.

By the time we were teenagers our whole life be­came even more un­bear­able. Our old­fash­ioned mum re­fused to let us date be­fore we were 15 and then in­sisted that boys had to come to the door to col­lect us girls in­stead of toot­ing the car horn for them to come run­ning. She re­ally raised a bunch of squares. But none of us kids were ever ar­rested for shoplift­ing or busted for dope.

And who do you thank for all this? You’re right — our mean mother.

Ev­ery day we hear cries from both our peo­ple and politi­cians about what our coun­try needs.

What our coun­try needs is more mean moth­ers like mine!

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