Stand out from the crowd

A hard, hon­est look at your­self won’t go astray when you’re writ­ing your sin­gles ad

Life & Style Weekend - - YOU - with He­len Hawkes he­len­hawkes.org

SPEED DAT­ING, IN­VENTED BY A RABBI IN 1999, IS BASED ON A JEWISH TRA­DI­TION OF CHAPERONED GATH­ER­INGS OF YOUNG JEWISH SIN­GLES If you’re look­ing for love, some­times it can be fun and en­light­en­ing to get that stuff down for your­self.

WHAT do you look like on pa­per? I don’t mean your dat­ing web­site ad. I mean the real you. You know, the one who doesn’t re­ally like ad­ven­ture sports, but prefers to be snug­gled up in front of My Kitchen Rules, eat­ing choco­late ice cream from the tub.

If you’re look­ing for love, some­times it can be fun and en­light­en­ing to get that stuff down for your­self. For­get “likes bub­ble baths” or “en­joys mo­tor­cy­cle rides”, blah, blah. Go with hon­esty and then, at least, you will have a bet­ter idea who might be your match. I, my­self, added a new ti­tle or in­ter­est to my per­son­al­ity de­scrip­tion this week. Ve­gan. Sexy, I know. Ev­ery­one wants to date a ve­gan, right? I have some other words down there that don’t ex­actly sound like the kind of thing that is go­ing to have men knock­ing at the door. Fem­i­nist. Gree­nie. Owner of 37kg labrador that sheds – a lot.

But here’s the thing: as we get older we’re more likely to have stronger po­lit­i­cal views and bag­gage, even of the ca­nine kind. The good news is that we also have far more ex­pe­ri­ence, and skills, and we know who we are.

So while I might have turned into a cheap date – no lob­ster for me – I am also a skilled cook, a good lis­tener, a moviephile, a drawer of funny car­i­ca­tures and, I have been told, cute and perky.

For my­self, I am sat­is­fied with some of the words that can now be ap­plied to me, but how would I re­ally write a sin­gles ad? “Perky, eru­dite, fem­i­nist com­mit­ment-phobe with slob­ber­ing lab, coastal get­away, and en­tire 70s/80s vinyl col­lec­tion seeks in­tel­li­gent, kind male with good teeth.”

Got a kind of ring to it, doesn’t it? And, I reckon, a heck of a lot bet­ter than “Sin­gle blonde (I am now) who likes walks on the beach, white wine and ad­ven­ture sports, look­ing for man who wants to spoil her.” Yawn, there’s about 1000 of those.

So why not give it a go? Even if you’re at­tached. Who are you re­ally? A lit­tle self knowl­edge can go with a lot of self love.

PHOTO: THINKSTOCK

Make time to work out who you are, and what you like, whether you are sin­gle or in a re­la­tion­ship.

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