Fall­ing in love with­out fear

Will we still be vic­tim­is­ing a mi­nor­ity a gen­er­a­tion from now?

Life & Style Weekend - - YOU - MUM’S THE WORD with Sue Clo­hesy

I don’t think there needs to be a ‘com­ing out’ con­ver­sa­tion, if that’s the way things go

IHOPE my chil­dren grow up in a so­ci­ety where gay mar­riage is not only le­gal, but ac­cepted as part of the norm.

And as I be­lieve it is only a mat­ter of time be­fore Aus­tralia moves into the 21st Cen­tury on this topic, I fig­ure they may as well just rip the Band-Aid off and go for it now. But this isn’t about me, it’s about the next gen­er­a­tion, and how they will hope­fully be free of those la­bels and con­straints, free to not only fall in love with who they want, but to marry them as well. So when Miss Three and Mas­ter Five were play­ing fam­i­lies with some friends, I was de­lighted when Mas­ter Five asked “but mum, boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls, can’t they?”. With­out even think­ing, I said “yes, of course they can”. As soon as it was out of my mouth, I thought, “oh, that’s not ac­tu­ally true… yet”. I thought about ex­plain­ing it, but fig­ured that might do more dam­age than good.

I want them to grow up know­ing they can fall in love with who­ever they want, with­out fear­ing retri­bu­tion from those with small minds. When they bring some­one home to meet me, I want them to be able to in­tro­duce them as their part­ner – I don’t care what sex they are. I don’t think there needs to be a “com­ing out’’ con­ver­sa­tion, if that’s the way things go. I just want them to be free of judg­ment and fear of their life choices.

So I’m hop­ing my white lie will be ir­rel­e­vant well be­fore it could pos­si­bly be­come an is­sue. How­ever, if I’m wrong, and Aus­tralia con­tin­ues to stick its head in the sand, I fear for the next gen­er­a­tion. What are we teach­ing them when we con­tinue to dis­crim­i­nate against a mi­nor­ity? And when they dis­cover the fight has been on­go­ing for decades, will that re­sult in doom and de­spair for the mi­nor­ity and only re­in­force the cur­rent po­si­tion of the ma­jor­ity? Or will they still carry on the same fight, in the hope that one day if they have kids, their chil­dren need not be con­cerned with the same bat­tle scars of pre­vi­ous gen­er­a­tions.

PHOTO: MARC DEBNAM

Will same-sex mar­riage be the norm for our chil­dren? SAME-SEX MAR­RIAGE IS LEGALLY RECOG­NISED IN 22 COUN­TRIES, WITH MORE IN THE PIPE­LINE

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