De­liver us: the nerves be­gin to fray

It’s a roller coaster but it’s com­fort­ing to know we have one thing in com­mon with the roy­als

Life & Style Weekend - - YOU - BY Letea Ca­van­der

I am start­ing to ex­am­ine as­pects of our be­hav­iour and won­der how many f-bombs we can ac­tu­ally drop...

THIS preg­nancy busi­ness is quite a ride. And not only for me, the one with the lit­tle pas­sen­ger on board. My poor part­ner is swing­ing from ec­static to ter­ri­fied to fairly blase about the whole sit­u­a­tion.

Never one to put his foot in it, just last week he looked at my new curves be­fore ex­claim­ing, “You have cer­tainly turned into a portly lass.”

“I pre­fer ro­tund,” I replied as spring con­di­tions turned un­sea­son­ally icy for a few hours.

I am not sure what prompted the Vic­to­rian turns of phrase – it is usu­ally more bo­gan than benev­o­lent in our house. We did man­age to get pretty Down­ton Abbey for a minute there.

Now half-way through the preg­nancy, I am start­ing to ex­am­ine as­pects of our be­hav­iour and won­der how many f-bombs we can ac­tu­ally drop be­fore the lit­tle tacker will start to re­peat it. Maybe we should try to em­u­late those old faves, Prince Wil­liam and Kate, who this week an­nounced their third baby was on the way. I am pretty sure the only f-words used in that royal house­hold are the oc­ca­sional “Falk­lands” or maybe “Fergie”. I swing be­tween sym­pa­thy for Kate, who is re­port­edly suf­fer­ing such hor­ren­dous morn­ing sick­ness she is bedrid­den, to green as The Hulk jeal­ousy when I think of how per­fect she looked af­ter the birth of her first child, Ge­orge.

Dressed in blue, not a hair out of place and wav­ing to the wait­ing me­dia out­side the hos­pi­tal, Kate, and dot­ing Wills by her side, made that whole new par­ent­ing thing look a breeze.

The im­age I have of us post-hos­pi­tal stay is slightly dif­fer­ent. In my imag­i­na­tion I have a bird’s nest for hair – no, not a funky updo – but a curly, tangled mess on my head be­cause I for­got my hair­brush.

I am wear­ing blue PJs out­side the hos­pi­tal be­cause I am also ab­sent-minded enough to for­get to pack post-de­liv­ery clothes. And Mr Bird’s Nest is hy­per­ven­ti­lat­ing around the cor­ner as he goes to pick up the car be­cause it turns out our baby has a set of lungs and knows how to use them and nei­ther of us re­ally knows what to do.

But what we have in com­mon with the roy­als is that, de­spite the oc­ca­sional f-bomb and foot-in-mouth dis­ease that rules our house, I am cer­tain we will love our baby as fiercely as they love their chil­dren. And that is all that mat­ters in the end, right? What are your thoughts? Get in touch at week­end@ news re­gional me­


The Duchess of Cam­bridge, Kate and her hus­band Prince Wil­liam with their new­born son Ge­orge fol­low­ing his birth in 2013. They are ex­pect­ing their third child.

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