Hal­lelu­jah – Mr Jinx has gone to his grave

Petrol, starter ropes and spark plugs are a thing of the past

Life & Style Weekend - - STUFF - with Greg Bray

FOLKS, “spring has sprung, the grass has riz…”, and this year I’m ready to tear into it like a flock of starv­ing sheep be­cause I won’t be try­ing to hack it down with my un­re­li­able mower, Mr Jinx.

Look, I’m not go­ing to beat around the bush here. Mr Jinx was a cursed mower.

The thing is Mr Jinx wasn’t some cheap piece of junk.

He was a top-of-the-line model that made my old lawn­mower look like some­thing Fred Flintstone would dump out­side a mu­seum.

But I’ve never spent so much time, en­ergy and money try­ing to keep a mower run­ning.

I’m no stranger to the mys­ter­ies of the in­ter­nal com­bus­tion en­gine; I’ve dab­bled.

In fact, I once pulled apart my car’s au­to­matic gear­box just to see how it worked, then put it all back to­gether again.

Granted, that car never re­ally ran prop­erly again, but I’m just try­ing to point out that I’m not to­tally me­chan­i­cally use­less.

But af­ter eight frus­trat­ing years of con­stantly re­pair­ing Mr Jinx, my con­fi­dence was shat­tered to the point where just glanc­ing at a spark plug span­ner was enough to make me shud­der. So when we de­cided to down­size, a big part of the rea­son I agreed was be­cause I re­alised I’d never have to touch Mr Jinx again.

And the last time I wheeled him out of the shed he re­ally spat the dummy, so when he was fi­nally con­signed to the com­post bin of his­tory he was not missed by me, my fam­ily or any neigh­bours within earshot.

Mr Jinx was re­placed with a bat­tery-pow­ered mower, and I’m not too proud to ad­mit that the first time I sim­ply pressed a but­ton and it started, I be­gan to weep.

In fact, when no­body’s at home I’ll wan­der into the garage, start the new mower then laugh like a loon!

So as God is my wit­ness, I will never touch an­other mower en­gine again.

In fact, I can hardly wait for our car to be re­placed with a bat­tery-pow­ered model. But un­til then, I’ll be hap­pily watch­ing the grass grow. Greg Bray blogs at greg­bray­writer.wordpress.com. Find him on Face­book: Greg Bray – Writer

My con­fi­dence was shat­tered to the point where just glanc­ing at a spark plug span­ner was enough to make me shud­der.

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