LOVE LANGUAGES PART TWO: ACTS OF SERVICE
SOME PEOPLE RESPOND TO LOVE EXPRESSED THROUGH ACTION RATHER THAN WORDS
It’s Part Two of my Five Love Languages series folks, so just a recap! Love languages are five ways we express and understand love as suggested by author, Gary Chapman. People use different combinations to communicate love for other people. When couples learn to express their partner’s love language, it helps create the best possible foundation for their relationship. I’ve covered Words of Affirmation, which is the love language for people who use verbal or written cues to express and receive love. These people always seem to have a compliment ready and look particularly dejected when starved of any themselves. This weekend, we’re looking at Acts of Service. To quote Elvis, the desire of people whose love language is Acts of Service is a little less conversation and a little more action. It’s not that they don’t care for a few kind words or expect a personal attendant either. They place great value in doing something that needs to be done without being asked. To them, performing these actions is a greater display of care and affection than saying it. This can create some obvious tension when you’ve got one partner who speaks in Words of Affirmation and another who speaks in Acts of Service. The trick is for both partners to learn how to talk to each other. The one who uses words must learn to use actions, and the one who uses actions must learn to use words. It can be quite uncomfortable at first, however with a little repetition and consistency – you’ll both be crooning Burning Love instead of There Goes My Everything. Acts of service are often about small gestures. Rather than, “I waxed your car, cleaned the entire house, washed the hound dog, have your lobster thermidor in the oven, filed your taxes – now let me take off your blue suede shoes.” That certainly wouldn’t go astray, but the reality is much smaller in scope. Here are some examples of Acts of Service that may have your partner jump up and jive with love: Make the bed in the morning. Pack their lunch for work. Run a bath for them. Engineer them some uninterrupted time to watch a show, a sports match, or read a book. Take out the garbage. Deliver breakfast in bed on a weekend. Run an errand such as grab a prescription or pick up dry cleaning. Iron their clothes. Do the dishes. Offer to be the designated driver the next time you go out. Research something for them that would make their home chores, work or next trip easier. Let them sleep in. I’m certainly not suggesting you sell your soul to slavery. Do take the time, however, to notice what your partner may have been trying to perform for you all these years. Those Acts of Service could well be what they’ve been singing out for? Expect a Suspicious Mind when you suddenly turn on their love language, but assure them it’s just because I’m Stuck on You. Is this your love language? Maybe you need to be assertive about telling your spouse how they can Love Me Tender? Come on, It’s Now or Never.