8 WAYS TO BRING DATING BACK TO LIFE
When you’ve been single for a while, especially with children, the whole dating scene can start to seem like too much hassle and take too much time. Not only does it involve putting yourself out there, but there’s also the issue of finding time between yo
1. EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE
Do you see and speak to the same group of people every week and a few others outside of that?
The only way to meet someone special and possibly get swept off your feet is to get to know other single people.
Dating online is brilliant for this because you can browse through sites looking for other like-minded single guys in the evening or when you are on the move.
And although it sounds like a cliché, taking up a new hobby really will help you get to know more people. Always fancied ballroom dancing? Learning a language? Joining a book club? Whatever it is, make 2015 the year you make it happen. Go on, Google that thing, whatever it is, right now, I dare you.
2. JUST SAY ‘YES’
Whether an invite comes from someone you don’t know, a fellow parent at school or a blind date set up by friends, just take the plunge and say yes, even if you feel like running in the opposite direction and hitting your couch with a ready-made meal for one. You never know where it might lead, and I can tell you one thing, it will definitely lead to more places than your remote control can take you.
3. ASK FOR INTRODUCTIONS
Don’t be shy about letting your friends, workmates and acquaintances know that you are looking to start dating seriously again. Unless they know this, then they can’t help. When you’re talking about it, be clear about the sort of person you want in your life. Think carefully about what this is: attributes like kindness, respect and sense of humour should feature near the top.
4. GIVE YOURSELF A BOOST
Confidence equals sexiness, and it can go a long way to attracting the partner that’s just right for you (and making sure those ‘crazy’ ones don’t come anywhere near you). If your self-esteem could do with a boost, think about all the reasons you’re totally awesome. Rope a friend in to help, grab a piece of paper and a glass of wine and get all those attributes down in hard copy. Then treat yourself to a few new items for your wardrobe or a haircut. Small things like this can really give the momentum and lift you need to get out there and start meeting people.
5. MAKE TIME FOR DATING
Schedule it! When you’re not with your children, allocate time for dating, be it browsing dating sites, chatting to new people online or on the phone or going out on dates. Make this time just for dating-related activities and block it out of your diary as you would any other commitment. As for the washing and housework – that can wait!
6. MAKE IT JUST FOR YOU
Your children are probably involved in every area of your life but don’t involve them in your dating life by talking about it in minute detail. By all means give a general overview if age appropriate, but keep it upbeat and simple. Always let the people you are dating know you are a single mum but remember that a date is about getting to know that person, so focus on them, rather than your children.
7. KEEP IT CLEAN
Everyone has a past but whatever you do, don’t start complaining about your ex or go into the details of your relationship. Also, try to steer clear of talking about how hard it is being a single mum. If he’s a single dad, he’ll get it, and if not but he’s worth keeping, then he’ll see your daily challenges as he gets to know you.
8. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
However long you have been out of the dating game, the same fundamental rule of trusting your instinct still applies. If you go on a date and it doesn’t feel quite right, cut it short, move on quickly and never settle for less than you deserve.
Above all, remember that you and your children deserve the best. Keeping that one thought in mind will go a long way to making sure you waste less time floundering in the dating pool and more time making genuine connections with people who are worth your time.
JUST SAY YES, IT WILL DEFINITELY LEAD MORE
PLACES THAN YOUR REMOTE CONTROL CAN