8 WAYS TO BRING DAT­ING BACK TO LIFE

When you’ve been sin­gle for a while, es­pe­cially with chil­dren, the whole dat­ing scene can start to seem like too much has­sle and take too much time. Not only does it in­volve putting your­self out there, but there’s also the is­sue of find­ing time be­tween yo

Lift Magazine - - Contents - By Emma Draper

1. EX­PAND YOUR SO­CIAL CIR­CLE

Do you see and speak to the same group of peo­ple ev­ery week and a few oth­ers out­side of that?

The only way to meet some­one spe­cial and pos­si­bly get swept off your feet is to get to know other sin­gle peo­ple.

Dat­ing on­line is bril­liant for this be­cause you can browse through sites look­ing for other like-minded sin­gle guys in the evening or when you are on the move.

And al­though it sounds like a cliché, tak­ing up a new hobby really will help you get to know more peo­ple. Al­ways fan­cied ball­room danc­ing? Learn­ing a lan­guage? Join­ing a book club? What­ever it is, make 2015 the year you make it hap­pen. Go on, Google that thing, what­ever it is, right now, I dare you.

2. JUST SAY ‘YES’

Whether an in­vite comes from some­one you don’t know, a fel­low par­ent at school or a blind date set up by friends, just take the plunge and say yes, even if you feel like run­ning in the op­po­site di­rec­tion and hit­ting your couch with a ready-made meal for one. You never know where it might lead, and I can tell you one thing, it will definitely lead to more places than your re­mote con­trol can take you.

3. ASK FOR IN­TRO­DUC­TIONS

Don’t be shy about let­ting your friends, work­mates and ac­quain­tances know that you are look­ing to start dat­ing se­ri­ously again. Un­less they know this, then they can’t help. When you’re talk­ing about it, be clear about the sort of per­son you want in your life. Think care­fully about what this is: at­tributes like kind­ness, re­spect and sense of hu­mour should fea­ture near the top.

4. GIVE YOUR­SELF A BOOST

Con­fi­dence equals sex­i­ness, and it can go a long way to at­tract­ing the part­ner that’s just right for you (and making sure those ‘crazy’ ones don’t come any­where near you). If your self-es­teem could do with a boost, think about all the rea­sons you’re to­tally awesome. Rope a friend in to help, grab a piece of pa­per and a glass of wine and get all those at­tributes down in hard copy. Then treat your­self to a few new items for your wardrobe or a hair­cut. Small things like this can really give the mo­men­tum and lift you need to get out there and start meet­ing peo­ple.

5. MAKE TIME FOR DAT­ING

Sched­ule it! When you’re not with your chil­dren, al­lo­cate time for dat­ing, be it brows­ing dat­ing sites, chat­ting to new peo­ple on­line or on the phone or go­ing out on dates. Make this time just for dat­ing-re­lated ac­tiv­i­ties and block it out of your diary as you would any other com­mit­ment. As for the wash­ing and house­work – that can wait!

6. MAKE IT JUST FOR YOU

Your chil­dren are prob­a­bly in­volved in ev­ery area of your life but don’t in­volve them in your dat­ing life by talk­ing about it in minute de­tail. By all means give a gen­eral over­view if age ap­pro­pri­ate, but keep it upbeat and sim­ple. Al­ways let the peo­ple you are dat­ing know you are a sin­gle mum but re­mem­ber that a date is about get­ting to know that per­son, so fo­cus on them, rather than your chil­dren.

7. KEEP IT CLEAN

Ev­ery­one has a past but what­ever you do, don’t start com­plain­ing about your ex or go into the de­tails of your re­la­tion­ship. Also, try to steer clear of talk­ing about how hard it is be­ing a sin­gle mum. If he’s a sin­gle dad, he’ll get it, and if not but he’s worth keep­ing, then he’ll see your daily chal­lenges as he gets to know you.

8. TRUST YOUR IN­STINCTS

How­ever long you have been out of the dat­ing game, the same fun­da­men­tal rule of trust­ing your in­stinct still ap­plies. If you go on a date and it doesn’t feel quite right, cut it short, move on quickly and never set­tle for less than you de­serve.

Above all, re­mem­ber that you and your chil­dren de­serve the best. Keep­ing that one thought in mind will go a long way to making sure you waste less time floun­der­ing in the dat­ing pool and more time making gen­uine con­nec­tions with peo­ple who are worth your time.

JUST SAY YES, IT WILL DEFINITELY LEAD MORE

PLACES THAN YOUR RE­MOTE CON­TROL CAN

TAKE

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