COF­FEE & a CONVO’

With Tanya, sin­gle mum to Lu­cas and Emily

Lift Magazine - - Recipes -

HOW HAVE YOU CHANGED SINCE BE­COM­ING A SIN­GLE MUM?

In the way I pri­ori­tise things. Some of the things I used to think were im­por­tant really aren’t. For ex­am­ple, I now work part-time in­stead of full-time.

WHAT UN­EX­PECTED POS­I­TIVES HAVE YOU DIS­COV­ERED ALONG THE WAY?

It’s ac­tu­ally al­lowed me to have a bet­ter work-life bal­ance, be­cause there’s an­other house­hold and an­other fam­ily, it al­lows me more flex­i­bil­ity at work so I can have a ca­reer and be there for my chil­dren.

WHAT WAS YOUR BIG­GEST CHAL­LENGE IN RE­BUILD­ING AF­TER DI­VORCE?

The emo­tional fight within my­self - part of me wanted to run away as my ex-hus­band and his new part­ner lived so close. I suf­fered emo­tion­ally so I could sup­port my chil­dren in both of their homes. It took coun­selling to get through, but I just had to tell my­self that it wouldn’t al­ways be so painful, and it’s paid off, my chil­dren are well ad­justed.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE THING TO DO WHEN YOU GET ‘ME’ TIME?

Train­ing! Just run­ning – it doesn’t mat­ter how far or where. I’ve been do­ing triathlons since

WHAT HAVE I LEARNED ABOUT MY­SELF? THAT EVEN WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS GO­ING TO FALL INTO A HEAP, I DIDN’T.

my sep­a­ra­tion and I want to do the China Great Wall Marathon in 2017. I never even thought I could swim 1.5km and I did and I was ok! You can ac­com­plish so much more than you think you can – just have a plan and work up to it.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOK­ING FOR­WARD TO RIGHT NOW?

Wed­nes­day nights are hand over nights with my kids and we’ve made it into our ‘movie night’. Lu­cas picks the movie, I make some­thing spe­cial for din­ner and we stay up late. Spend­ing that time to­gether on their first night home helps them to ad­just quicker to the change in house­holds.

WHAT’S YOUR BEST TIP FOR GET­TING THROUGH A SEP­A­RA­TION OR DI­VORCE?

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Some­times it’s hour by hour, then day by day and slowly you stop hav­ing to ‘just get through’.

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