Si­mone’s quick-start guide to lev­er­ag­ing your solo mum as­sets

I truly be­lieve we all get the same num­ber of op­por­tu­ni­ties – it’s just that some peo­ple ei­ther don’t recog­nise them or don’t know how to grab them with both hands. The fol­low­ing quick-start guide is de­signed to help you think dif­fer­ently to turn al­most a

Lift Magazine - - Contributors -

STEP 1:

WHAT ARE YOUR OB­JEC­TIVES?

What does your ideal day look like? Reg­u­larly check in with your­self and re­main fo­cused and com­mit­ted to what you really want. Have fun cut­ting out pic­tures and words that make up your ideal life.

STEP 2:

IF YOU'VE GOT IT, FLAUNT IT!

Spend some time writ­ing down ev­ery­thing you see as an as­set and a li­a­bil­ity, then write down how it could be of value to you or some­one else. For ex­am­ple: I don’t have my chil­dren half the time, this means I have the free­dom to do XYZ. If you don't have the an­swer right now, leave a space to come back to it. This is a fan­tas­tic ex­er­cise to do with a close friend who can help you see a dif­fer­ent per­spec­tive.

STEP 3: RE­VIEW THE PEO­PLE YOU HAVE AROUND YOU

What do you need to achieve your ob­jec­tives and make your ideal life a re­al­ity? Are the peo­ple around you energising you or drain­ing you? Are th­ese re­la­tion­ships win-win? Are there any re­la­tion­ships you need to step away from or any you need to at­tract and nur­ture?

STEP 4: FIT YOUR OWN OXY­GEN MASK THEN HELP OTH­ERS

Look at what you need to do for your­self first, then at what can you of­fer to oth­ers and how they could help you in re­turn. As a solo mum you need to be es­pe­cially se­lec­tive with your gen­eros­ity. You must be fo­cused on cre­at­ing win-win out­comes all the time. Win-lose does no good for any­one in the long run.

STEP 5: BE PROAC­TIVE ABOUT SET­TING UP WIN-WIN OP­POR­TU­NI­TIES

Don’t be scared to start small. Could you of­fer to help out an­other solo par­ent at school and see if they're able to do the same for you? For ex­am­ple, my son is tak­ing ex­tra bal­let classes at the mo­ment, so his mum’s part­ner and I alternate tak­ing them so we can get more work done.

STEP 6:

NUR­TURE KEY RE­LA­TION­SHIPS

Th­ese are the ones that are adding the most en­ergy and value to your life. Look af­ter th­ese and you’ll both be bet­ter off. Don't be com­pla­cent about peo­ple who are key part­ners in liv­ing your ideal life.

MY FI­NAL TAKE­AWAY TIP:

To be able to give your best you have to be your best. Take time to be good to your­self. My favourite thing is to have date night with my­self. A great movie, good wine and a meal I enjoy. When I was sin­gle I'd do this ev­ery Thurs­day night. When you know how to treat your­self, you lead the way to at­tract­ing oth­ers who will do the same.

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