5 ways to rekin­dle love in your re­la­tion­ship

There’s a mag­i­cal alchemy in sim­ple bond­ing ges­tures such as eye con­tact, smil­ing, touch­ing, a lov­ing tone of voice, stroking, kiss­ing and cud­dling. They can rekin­dle love in a nat­u­ral way, even if you thought your re­la­tion­ship was high and dry.

Living Now - - Relationship - By Janet Mcgeever

Cou­ples nat­u­rally en­gage in th­ese nat­u­ral ges­tures of love when they first come to­gether. Af­ter time, with busy sched­ules, th­ese can fall away in any re­la­tion­ship and be­come ei­ther ab­sent or far less fre­quent. What hap­pens is that the brain and body read bond­ing ges­tures as sig­nals for feel­ing safe and get­ting closer. When one feels safe, the body re­laxes. When the body re­laxes, more love can flow. The body is wired for it.

Once the body reads it is safe, glands se­crete the right hor­mones, blood starts flow­ing to ar­eas that have been con­stricted, and hearts start to open. The trick is to bring th­ese ges­tures into your re­lat­ing con­sciously, MAKE THE TIME for it. Any of th­ese ges­tures can take one minute – a lov­ing smile, a light touch, a gen­tle kiss, a sweet ac­knowl­edge­ment. Sounds sim­ple. The ef­fect is cu­mu­la­tive how­ever; so just do­ing them once won’t cut it. It’s good to note also that sex­ual arousal is a parasym­pa­thetic (re­lax­ation) ac­tiv­ity; whereas the ac­tual drive to ramp things up sex­u­ally in­vokes the body’s sym­pa­thetic nerves – the nerves that trig­ger the fight or flight re­sponse. So keep­ing things calmer and slower in the bed­room for more re­laxed in­ti­macy will deeply en­hance love and trust – and you will feel re­plen­ished and en­livened af­ter­wards; not drained. One sim­ple sooth­ing rem­edy for brow­beaten cou­ples is to prac­tise con­scious snug­gling on a daily ba­sis. Some re­sist this close­ness be­cause the mind reads this as an ex­pec­ta­tion for sex. If that’s the case, make an agree­ment that th­ese ‘snug­gle times’ are just for en­hanc­ing the bond, grow­ing the love. Make other times for love­mak­ing.

As you go to bed and as you wake, con­sciously lie to­gether snug­gling – spoon­ing, one be­hind the other or fac­ing each other, breath­ing in and out of your heart area. Or lie to­gether for 5, 10 or 20 min­utes any time of the day. It will do won­ders to soothe, re­lax and rekin­dle love and trust au­to­mat­i­cally, let­ting the body it­self be the true al­chemist of love. n

Janet Mcgeever and her part­ner, Gene Thomp­son, are the au­tho­rised Aus­tralian pre­sen­ters of The Making Love Re­treat, as cre­ated by Diana Richard­son, the pioneer of the Slow Sex move­ment and au­thor of the book and movie Slow Sex. Janet is also El­iz­a­beth’s guest at a luncheon for women in Mel­bourne city, 10th April, 2016.

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