Sex, drugs and porn

Living Now - - Health & Healing -

Shift­ing from drug ad­dic­tion to sex ad­dic­tion is very com­mon. This can be detri­men­tal to health and hap­pi­ness, es­pe­cially for men, as ex­ces­sive sex drains chi. Sex and drugs go re­ally well to­gether – ex­cept for drugs like heroin, which draw chi from your tes­ti­cles and kid­neys to get you high, leav­ing no en­ergy avail­able for sex – and I treat lots of men who would reg­u­larly do three days of non-stop sex and drugs. As both drugs and ex­ces­sive sex de­plete chi, this can cre­ate or­gan im­bal­ances and yang or heat pat­terns which, in turn, gen­er­ate con­di­tions such as in­sa­tiable de­sire.

With this type of im­bal­ance you feel an ur­gent need to have sex but, af­ter ejac­u­la­tion, in­stead of the post-sex glow, you feel empty, sep­a­rated or may even find your­self want­ing to cry. This pre­pares the ground for sex ad­dic­tion be­cause you crave the stim­u­la­tion of be­ing en­gaged over and over, to counter the empti­ness, but each time you cli­max, you feel more dis­con­nected. What you are ac­tu­ally seek­ing here is ful­fil­ment, chi and con­nec­tion. You’re not addicted to sex; you’re addicted to chi and con­nec­tion (we are sup­posed to be addicted to this).

In­ter­net porn can eas­ily be­come ad­dic­tive in a post-drug, chi-de­pleted situation too. If you are feel­ing stuck and lethar­gic, the in­stant sex­ual stim­u­lus of­fered by in­ter­net porn

(which can set chi in mo­tion) cre­ates the im­pres­sion of change or move­ment. But it can also launch a cy­cle of an in­creas­ing need to en­gage, which si­mul­ta­ne­ously de­creases your in­ner re­sources, mak­ing the need to en­gage again more ur­gent.

I treat sex ad­dic­tion and in­ter­net porn ad­dic­tion (in clients of both gen­ders) with the same sub­stance I use for drug ad­dic­tion – chi, be­cause sex and drugs are all about chi. The up­side of this is that if you learn to work with chi, you can cre­ate states that are like sex and drugs com­bined. Sex can get bet­ter all the time, which im­proves the qual­ity of life and helps with re­la­tion­ships too.

Use chi to have awe­some sex with­out drugs

On the topic of post-drug re­la­tion­ships, it’s best to avoid im­me­di­ately leap­ing into new re­la­tion­ship af­ter you quit. Be­cause you’re feel­ing lost or empty, it’s nat­u­ral to seek sup­port from oth­ers, but in the post-drug weak­ened state, you are likely to at­tract an equally emo­tion­ally im­bal­anced per­son, some­one who might be needy, er­ratic and moody. Ev­ery­thing they say or do will seem wrong and will trig­ger your anger, grief, or other emo­tional pain. It’s go­ing to be hard to re­sist ex­press­ing this, and end­lessly analysing and ob­ses­sively find­ing fault in oth­ers. It can quickly trig­ger ma­jor re­ac­tive cy­cles and neg­a­tiv­ity and cyn­i­cism can be­come a kind of drug re­place­ment.

Or you might be drawn to some­one with a re­ally strong char­ac­ter who will be on a mis­sion to change you and get you back to nor­mal. Ei­ther way, it will add to your emo­tional load. So plan for some time on your own, if pos­si­ble. Don’t fall into the trap of think­ing that self-worth comes from be­ing in a re­la­tion­ship, be­cause it doesn’t. Self­worth comes from healthy or­gans and strong chi. Re­mem­ber that it is your job to fill your own emo­tional needs, and to evolve.

You are here to re­solve your­self, not oth­ers

The point I’m mak­ing here is that your abil­ity to keep re­peat­ing some­thing can be used to your ad­van­tage. Of course there are dif­fer­ences be­tween a drug ad­dict and a ge­nius pi­anist. It is as­sumed that an ad­dict has lost con­trol, and is no longer mak­ing choices, that they have to keep re­peat­ing their ac­tions, whereas the pi­anist is dis­ci­plined enough to choose to prac­tice for hours ev­ery day. That may be true, but in my opinion you can see these as dif­fer­ent sides of the same coin. Both are chas­ing some­thing elu­sive and some­thing that is con­nected to an ex­pe­ri­ence of the cos­mic self (cre­ativ­ity is an­other means of ex­pe­ri­enc­ing your cos­mic self). they’re telling me how they have to avoid mood- or mind-al­ter­ing sub­stances, and any­where these might be avail­able as they are only a step away from fall­ing off the wagon. This is sup­pres­sion of de­sire and it leads to a daily bat­tle against pow­er­ful urges, a bat­tle which might last you the rest of your life. This is not the front we are sup­posed to be fight­ing on.

If you evolve your ad­dic­tion, the dan­ger­ous at­trac­tion dis­ap­pears. You could of­fer me some of the nicest drugs in town now (and clients reg­u­larly do – as a test) and the only thing I would feel is dis­in­ter­est. I haven’t used drugs or smoked cig­a­rettes for decades. Cof­fee is off the menu too, but only be­cause my overindul­gence in that sub­stance once con­trib­uted to a seizure. I do like a glass of red wine in the evening, but af­ter one, I’m done; I lose in­ter­est in it. Hard to imag­ine, since I was sup­posed to be an al­co­holic, and never able to drink again. But my chi prac­tices de­liver bet­ter highs than any­thing I ever got from drugs (and in my day the drugs were very good in­deed). Any­thing more than one drink in­ter­feres with the qual­ity of the ex­pe­ri­ences I’m chas­ing now; so I nat­u­rally re­ject it. I’m not sup­press­ing my de­sire; I’m ful­fill­ing it else­where. I’ve taken things up a level, evolv­ing from drugs and booze to chi-based al­tered states. And these I need ev­ery day.

is why you tend to quit with­out think­ing the en­tire process through.

Med­i­cal pro­fes­sion­als of­ten de­scribe the acute stage as be­ing no worse than the ‘ flu, but I’d beg to dif­fer. I’ve had the ‘ flu lots of times and I’ve quit drugs lots of times too. I ended up re­peat­ing the acute stage of with­drawal over and over again. It was like that movie, Ground­hog Day, but with phys­i­cal and emo­tional pain in­stead of com­edy and ro­mance. It was def­i­nitely worse than the ‘ flu. Ad­di­tion­ally, you don’t get over the ‘ flu and then find you no longer fit in with nor­mal re­al­ity.

Then there is the post-acute stage. This is char­ac­terised by an in­abil­ity to con­cen­trate, emo­tional vul­ner­a­bil­ity and poor sleep. Some­where around the two-year mark you are ex­pected to have achieved sta­bil­ity, but in­som­nia and emo­tional re­ac­tiv­ity were the least of my post-acute stage prob­lems; I wanted to die. It was only the hope that the next day would be dif­fer­ent – that I’d wake up and fi­nally be ‘back to nor­mal’ – that kept me go­ing. I made the mis­take of ex­pect­ing drug re­cov­ery to fol­low the model of nor­mal ill­nesses or ac­ci­dents, in which you re­gain health and wellness and ev­ery­thing goes back to nor­mal. As it be­came more and more ob­vi­ous that this was never go­ing to hap­pen, I edged ever nearer to pulling the pin.

Sui­ci­dal thoughts are com­mon for a lot of peo­ple af­ter they quit, but this is just de­pleted chi, which means de­pleted life-force, and it can change. There’s re­ally no point bail­ing out of life early just be­cause you don’t know how to quit drugs or, more to the point, how to live af­ter drugs. Plus, pulling the pin while you are op­er­at­ing from your ‘ac­quired self’ mode is not a good state to de­part in. Dy­ing is a se­ri­ous busi­ness and one that, ide­ally, we spend our lives pre­par­ing for. Mak­ing a grand cos­mic exit is the plan. Mean­while we’ve all got things we are sup­posed to be get­ting on with here. So arm your­self with some strate­gies to build chi and evolve your ad­dic­tion, and you can avoid a lot of un­nec­es­sary phys­i­cal, emo­tional and meta­phys­i­cal pain. n Born in Ger­many in 1958, and liv­ing in Aus­tralia since 1981, Jost is an ex speed ad­dict, dealer and de­serter, turned drug and al­co­hol coun­sel­lor who then be­came an acupunc­tur­ist. Af­ter lec­tur­ing in tra­di­tional Chi­nese medicine for a decade and run­ning nu­mer­ous health cen­tres, he de­vel­oped his revo­lu­tion­ary re­cov­ery pro­grams and his re­hab pro­gram is now avail­able on the Sun­shine Coast, Aus­tralia.

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