LET’S BULLY ON PURPOSE IN SCHOOLS!
There’s a great deal of fear and judgement in relation to bullying, but, as with most challenging issues, what’s being missed is the blessings and opportunities. No-one wants to get to the point of significant abuse (either as giver or receiver) or to the
According to the ‘Law of Conservation’, we’ll never eradicate bullying or aggression – it’s part of our nature and how we evolve, and to think otherwise is delusion. Far more important that we recognise the dynamics at work and find useful ways of empowering ourselves and others in managing these traits.
We each play each role. The bully at school is quite possibly bullied at home. The ‘bullied’ at school possibly becomes the bully at home. If you look honestly at your own life, you’ll find you’ve played both roles, and that both roles serve you.
We learn important lessons, whichever side of the equation we are on. Rather than banging our heads against the dynamic and making it wrong, let’s work with it. According to natural law, opposites are magnetised to each other. In human (and ‘electric’) terms, that means a ‘low-charge’ person (someone with low confidence/self-esteem) is drawn magnetically together with a ‘highcharge’ person (someone with excessive confidence/self-esteem). Sometimes they ‘crash’ together and the effect is that bullying dynamic.
Most people would agree that a person with low confidence needs to develop greater assurance, and a person with excessive confidence needs to develop humility and respect for others. Dr John Demartini expresses this very neatly: the person who is careful (low selfconfidence; tiptoes around others) and the person who is careless (excessive confidence; tramples on others) both need to become caring (respectful of self and others in equal balance).
The unconscious aim of the attraction between the two is to balance the charge: that the ‘low-charge’ unconfident person begins to feel frustrated enough with being a doormat that she is catalysed into valuing herself more, and the ‘high-charge’ overlyconfident person begins to feel a degree of self-doubt about steam-rollering others.
It doesn’t always look like that happens (to us observing on the outside), and it can take a loooooong while for that to happen. ( We sometimes need to walk into the same wall over and over and over again before we get the lesson, it seems.) That’s why I’m promoting the idea of deliberate bullying in schools.
We take all other school subject areas seriously, recognising that they require skill development over time, but very little focused time and attention is spent on communication skills (both listening skills and the skill of appropriate assertiveness), the art of resilience, problem-solving