IPhon e enlightenment
Most religions tell you that if you live the right way for long enough, you’ll eventually reach a higher state of consciousness. I’ve experienced something similar, because my iPhone’s finally out of contract. After two years of big monthly bills, flaky 3G and the inability to make a single phone call without at least one interruption I have finally achieved iPhone enlightenment and network nirvana.
It’s great. My bills have dropped by 37.5%. My signal is several dots stronger. My 3G is faster, my 4G inclusive, my tethering free for the first 4GB. I see the world with compassion and joy and patience and I am at one with the universe, freed from the ties of earthly things. How long do you reckon I’ll last? By an amazing cosmic coincidence, the iPhone 6 (and the 6 Plus) has just launched.
Buying an iPhone 6 is a terrible idea that makes no sense. If I stick to my iPhone 5 my total iPhone bill for the next 12 months will be £180. If I get an iPhone 6 it’ll be… let’s just say it’ll be considerably more than that – about six hundred quid more.
Six hundred quid. That’s enough to get nice new alloys to replace the knackered ones on my ancient estate car. It’s enough for a modest
Gary’s iPhone contract is finally up. Can he resist the siren song of the iPhone 6? An iPhone 6 will cost you about £600 – so about £2 per day. Your coffee bill must be higher than that!
holiday, a pretty good TV or a really amazing sound system. It’s enough to upgrade the iPad or get a half-decent MacBook Air on eBay, to pay off a big chunk of the credit card bill or to make the kids think Santa’s won the lottery.
Then again, you start thinking, hang on a minute: six hundred quid is less than two pounds a day. So, two pounds a day for a bigger screen. Two pounds a day for a heck of a better battery. Two pounds a day for a better camera. Two pounds a day for a faster processor. Two pounds a day for motion tracking, a tougher screen and a better radio.
Two pounds a day, you tell yourself. Your coffee bill alone must be ten times that.
I blame the job, and the internet. Becoming a Mac journalist or just using the internet when you’re a fan of Apple stuff is rather like becoming a publican because you really love drinking beer. Instead of the occasional pint of Apple news you find yourself guzzling gallons of the stuff, and it can’t possibly be good for you. It certainly isn’t good for me. “I must have the iPhone 6! I must tell the readers what it’s like!” I kid myself. But I already know what it’s like, and so do you. It’s like having an iPhone 5, but with a lot less money in your wallet…