IPhon e en­light­en­ment

Mac Format - - APPLEOPINION -

Most re­li­gions tell you that if you live the right way for long enough, you’ll even­tu­ally reach a higher state of con­scious­ness. I’ve ex­pe­ri­enced some­thing sim­i­lar, be­cause my iPhone’s fi­nally out of con­tract. After two years of big monthly bills, flaky 3G and the in­abil­ity to make a sin­gle phone call with­out at least one in­ter­rup­tion I have fi­nally achieved iPhone en­light­en­ment and net­work nir­vana.

It’s great. My bills have dropped by 37.5%. My sig­nal is sev­eral dots stronger. My 3G is faster, my 4G in­clu­sive, my teth­er­ing free for the first 4GB. I see the world with com­pas­sion and joy and pa­tience and I am at one with the uni­verse, freed from the ties of earthly things. How long do you reckon I’ll last? By an amaz­ing cos­mic co­in­ci­dence, the iPhone 6 (and the 6 Plus) has just launched.

Buy­ing an iPhone 6 is a ter­ri­ble idea that makes no sense. If I stick to my iPhone 5 my to­tal iPhone bill for the next 12 months will be £180. If I get an iPhone 6 it’ll be… let’s just say it’ll be con­sid­er­ably more than that – about six hun­dred quid more.

Six hun­dred quid. That’s enough to get nice new al­loys to re­place the knack­ered ones on my an­cient es­tate car. It’s enough for a mod­est

Gary’s iPhone con­tract is fi­nally up. Can he re­sist the siren song of the iPhone 6? An iPhone 6 will cost you about £600 – so about £2 per day. Your cof­fee bill must be higher than that!

hol­i­day, a pretty good TV or a re­ally amaz­ing sound sys­tem. It’s enough to up­grade the iPad or get a half-de­cent Mac­Book Air on eBay, to pay off a big chunk of the credit card bill or to make the kids think Santa’s won the lot­tery.

Then again, you start think­ing, hang on a minute: six hun­dred quid is less than two pounds a day. So, two pounds a day for a big­ger screen. Two pounds a day for a heck of a bet­ter bat­tery. Two pounds a day for a bet­ter cam­era. Two pounds a day for a faster pro­ces­sor. Two pounds a day for mo­tion track­ing, a tougher screen and a bet­ter ra­dio.

Two pounds a day, you tell your­self. Your cof­fee bill alone must be ten times that.

I blame the job, and the in­ter­net. Be­com­ing a Mac jour­nal­ist or just us­ing the in­ter­net when you’re a fan of Ap­ple stuff is rather like be­com­ing a pub­li­can be­cause you re­ally love drink­ing beer. In­stead of the oc­ca­sional pint of Ap­ple news you find your­self guz­zling gal­lons of the stuff, and it can’t pos­si­bly be good for you. It cer­tainly isn’t good for me. “I must have the iPhone 6! I must tell the read­ers what it’s like!” I kid my­self. But I al­ready know what it’s like, and so do you. It’s like hav­ing an iPhone 5, but with a lot less money in your wal­let…

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