ARE YOU AN UNWITTING A**HOLE?
Of course not! But take this quiz to make sure
1. How much undeserved praise did you receive from your parents when you were a kid? A. A moderate amount. B. I couldn’t poop my pants without them calling me a genius. A 2015 Dutch study confirms that narcissistic adults remember their parents lavishing them with praise as kids. Two points if you picked B.
2. Were you one of the “cool kids” in school? A. You know it. Everybody wanted to be my friend. B. “Cool,” eh... not so much.
“Aggression, intimidation, and manipulation can pay off,” says sociologist Dr Robert Faris. “But popular kids can also be the most disliked.” Two points for A.
3. Do you agree with the sentiment “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs”? A. Well, duh. It’s why I make more money than most of my peers. B. Not really.
Researchers at Cornell have discovered that “disagreeable” men make higher salaries than their agreeable colleagues. Two points for A.
4. Do you enjoy giving people unsolicited grammar advice? A. I thrive on schooling strangers about “your” and “you’re”. B. I have better things to do.
University of Michigan research reveals that people who are harshest about grammatical errors are also more likely to be disagreeable people. Two points for A.
5. Do dogs enjoy your company? A. They flock to me like I’m a frisbee covered in bacon. B. No, the canines avoid me.
Dogs – and, weirdly, capuchin monkeys – know an asshole when they see one. Recent research from Japan found that both animals react negatively to people they’ve seen being jerks. Two points for B.
7. What do people think about your book or movie reviews? A. They know I’ll steer them away from all the crap out there. B. I’ve been told I'm insightful. A study from Harvard found that “negative or unkind” book reviews were rated “more intelligent” than those expressing the same ideas in less abusive ways. Two points for A.
8. Would your wife or girlfriend describe you as a good dancer? A. She says I’m not, but I’m actually amazing. B. I think I’m terrible, but she insists I’ve got some killer moves. In a 2012 German study, women rated the men with more agreeable personalities as better dancers. Two points for A.
9. Is it always hot where you live? A. It’s hot in the summer, but nothing unusual. B. I wear shorts to formal events. I sweat most of the time. People are 50 per cent more likely to offer a stranger help on a warm day versus a sweltering one, according to a 2017 Northwestern University study. Two points for B.
10. Are you rich? A. I do okay. B. See that plane up there? I could buy it. “Wealth can lead to excessive self-focus and prioritising oneself over others,” says psychologist Dr Paul Piff, who studies the connection between wealth and morality. Two points for B.
11. How often do you text? A. Only when it's absolutely necessary. B. More than a teen girl to her BFF. Research from the University of Winnipeg found that people who send 100 or more text messages a day are 30 per cent less likely to value living an “ethical, principled life”. Two points for B.
6. What are your thoughts on chicks?
A. Chicks, man. They’re the worst! B. Chicks? Seriously? You’re like a sexist cliché from the 1960s.
A 2010 study from Kent State University found that narcissistic heterosexual men are most overtly hostile toward heterosexual women. Two points for A.
12. How’s your credit rating?
A. Um, well...i can explain. B. I’ve never been under 800.
Researchers from Texas Tech, LSU, and Northern Illinois University determined in a 2012 study that assholes are more likely to have better credit scores than people with more agreeable personalities. Two points for B.