a lot more chaotic, BUT MY BABIES are happy
A battle with anxiety, a love for Snapchat and healthy dose of real talk – welcome to life with The Young Mummy, Sophie Cachia
SOPHIE CACHIA, 26, IS NO STRANGER TO CONTROVERSY. PENNING THE YOUNG MUMMY BLOG HAS GAINED HER HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS WHO PRAISE HER VERY FRANK AND UNADULTERATED PERSPECTIVE ON MOTHERHOOD. SHE’S HIT THE HEADLINES IN THE PAST FOR SNAPCHATTING HER LABOUR AND HAVING NAME REGRET WITH HER BABY GIRL. HERE, SHE CHATS TO
M&B ABOUT BEING IN THE PUBLIC EYE AND LIFE WITH HER HUSBAND, JARYD, 25, AND KIDS BOBBY, THREE, AND FLORENCE, 13 WEEKS.
I first got pregnant when I was 22. I was really, really overwhelmed. I found being pregnant really hard the first time around. I struggled with my body changing, I struggled mentally, and all I had ever read online was how beautiful pregnancy was.
I had to defer my journalism degree at the time because I was so sick. And because I suppose I was bored, I just started documenting my journey and not thinking anything of it. People kept sharing my posts and I remember getting an email asking me when the next one was. I don’t ever say I was the first one, but at the time the only sort of bloggers who I followed wrote about fashion, beauty and travel. I thought I created a space where a lot of women could just come and read about what life is really like. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s totally fine. Now you see mum bloggers and it has evolved so much, they’re popping up everywhere. It’s just so great that it’s becoming more acceptable for us to talk about things so frankly. It’s like a massive online mother’s group and it’s so good, because you get to communicate and hear other people’s stories and see how they’re dealing with things. It’s great that there are women out there who want to help others, who want to create these online communities. It’s a positive and beautiful thing.
Second time around
I had a lot of anxiety leading up to Flossy’s birth, because I had a hard time with Bobby when he was born. During this pregnancy I started to have some thoughts, like ‘What have I done?’ It was almost like regret. For so long I wanted to get pregnant and then when I did I worried about how I would cope. I had a lot of trouble sleeping, stressing about it all because I had quite bad anxiety and post-partum depression around the six-month mark after I had Bobby and I was petrified of that coming back. That’s probably where my fear stems from. My husband would just reassure me that we’re a team, and we’re in it together.
Now she’s here, I am so much more relaxed. She’s a good baby, but everyone around me says it’s because I’m just so much more relaxed with her, so I think it works both ways. Life is a lot more chaotic; I still have washing on my table that’s been there for about a month, but my babies are happy.
Throughout the whole pregnancy, I would say to Bobby, ‘A baby is going to come out of my body’. As a two-year-old at the time he really understood what was happening before the baby arrived, which was good. Even when I was in labour, I said, ‘Bobby, I am going to the hospital and I’m going to bring home the baby’. At the hospital, he walked straight over to me and said, “The baby came out of your belly, Mum’.
He’s not nasty towards his sister but he’s definitely full-on. He wants to cuddle her, drag her out of bed by her neck and put her under his arm. He’s like, ‘Mum, I’m just cuddling her!’ He doesn’t understand how strong he is compared to her. We’re teaching him that she’s still so little, and delicate and it has been a bit tricky.
I had a few photos of the birthing process with Bobby, but I didn’t have any video footage. I Snapchat absolutely everything in my life so why not this? I didn’t see it as exposure for The Young Mummy blog; I saw it as an educational thing for people and an opportunity to see someone in labour. There were lots of sceptics and a lot of criticism around what I did. But, the feedback I had was phenomenal.
I struggled mentally, and all I had ever read online was how beautiful pregnancy was.
I had more than a million people tuned in that day to watch, which was incredible. I even had men saying, ‘My wife’s due in six months and I’m now going in with a little bit of insight’. I was never going to Snapchat the end, so I went offline for about two hours when I was getting her out, feeding her and having nap time. The worst part? I forgot to save most of them!
I changed Flossy’s name from Betty to Florence a few days after she was born. Betty is a woman in Jaryd’s life who is like a great-grandmother figure. She was turning 100 while I was pregnant and I said to Jaryd, ‘Wouldn’t it be cute if we had a girl and called her Betty?’ Looking back now, I think I got too caught up in the idea that Bobby and Betty together was so cute, that I didn’t actually stop and think about whether I pictured my daughter being called Betty.
When she came out, it was such a shock and Betty was the first girl’s name that came into my head. It was almost instantly that I thought, ‘What have I done?’ and looking back now, I don’t know why I didn’t say I wasn’t sure. An hour later I was really looking at her face and she didn’t look like what I pictured Betty to look like, she looked exactly what I pictured Florence to look like. I said, ‘I don’t know if she suits Betty’ and everyone in the room said, ‘Don’t be silly, you’re just hormonal, it’s fine, she’s gorgeous,’ but that just never stuck with me.
It really sunk in when I left the hospital and a couple in the lift asked what her name was. I was embarrassed to say my daughter’s name. It was then I said to Jaryd, ‘I’ve got a big issue here’. We started to try out different names and she was actually called Missy for two days and that didn’t stick. We went back to Florence, which is what we called her for about a week before we told anybody. We wanted to get Bobby’s head around it before we told anyone else and he picked up on it really quickly, which was amazing.
The re-introduction of Florence
I really didn’t worry about the public’s opinion and I actually got a lot of support.
I had so many messages of support from people saying to change her name if that was my gut feeling. It was more common than you’d think. I knew a few media outlets would have a field day with the name change and I wanted to make it light-hearted. We changed her name, she doesn’t know, no-one is affected by it. I thought doing it from Bobby’s perspective would be really cute and because he’d taken to it so well. We’d always envisioned we’d call Florence ‘Flo’, but the first or second time Bobby tried to say the name Florence he’d say ‘Flossy’. The fact that her brother gave her the nickname for her, I think it’s so cute. And it all worked out how it’s supposed to. It’s the best decision we’ve made.
It’s not very often that I stop in my tracks and think ‘What am I doing?’ or ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’, but during a recent weekend away, I did. I went down to our beach house and people were taking photos of my children, not thinking I could see them doing it. Most of the time it’s really innocent and they probably don’t think what they are doing is weird. But that got me thinking, ‘What am I doing? Do I need to bring up my kids where it’s okay for random people to take photos of them?’ Because I post photos of my kids, people assume they can take photos of them without asking and I get really defensive over that.
I don’t regret anything that I’ve done, but sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming with people wanting photos of my kids because they see them online. People just don’t understand that they’re my kids. And I can choose what photos I want to post. My kids are going to grow up and go, ‘Mum, why did you do that?’, but that’s the funny part of it. I want to bring my kids up with the same attitude that I’ve got – to not be embarrassed, but to be happy with the people they are.
SOPHIE WEARS Kaliver ‘Candy Yum Yum’ top, $266; Jeanswest ‘Jasmine’ leather skirt, $229; Stylist’s own necklace; Next floral embroidered block heel boots, $89 FLOSSY WEARS Pretty Wild ‘Grace’ bodysuit, $99; Hubble + Duke ‘Chelsea’ soft soled T-bar shoes, $45 BOBBY WEARS Mambo logo tee, $14, and zip hoodie, $25; Munster Kids ‘Four’ pants, $59.95; Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Creatures toddler low top sneakers, $70
SOPHIE WEARS Camilla ‘Chinese Whispers’ sheer cape in Hani Heaven, $489; SRC Essentials feeding tank, $49.95, and tube skirt, $49.95; Sophie’s own shoes FLOSSY WEARS Bella + Lace ‘Coco’ romper, $49.95; Lamington ‘Willow’ newborn merino socks, $16.40*
SOPHIE WEARS Carlie Ballard ‘Trailblazer’ shirt, $179, and ‘Nomad’ skirt, $159; Sophie’s own shoes FLOSSY WEARS Babies”R”Us ‘I’m New Here’ jumpsuit, $24.99; Carlie Ballard baby ‘Traveller’ pants, $39; Hubble + Duke ‘Brighton’ boots, $45 BOBBY WEARS Nununu ‘Solid’ T-shirt, from $68; Band of Boys vintage stretch skinny jeans, $55; Bobby’s own shoes
SOPHIE WEARS Kaliver ‘In Kaliver We Trust’ bomber jacket, $425; Sara at Ezibuy textured shimmer tunic, $59.99; Jeanswest ‘Prima’ tummy trimmer super skinny jeans, $129; Converse Chuck Taylor All Star metallic toe cap high top sneakers, $100 FLOSSY WEARS Lil Missie at Munster Kids ‘Petals’ top, $49.95, and ‘Sparkle’ pants,
$39.95; Hubble + Duke ‘Chelsea’ soft soled T-bar shoes, $45 BOBBY WEARS Munster Kids ‘Mountain’ crew jumper, $69.95; Bobby’s own jeans and shoes