a lot more chaotic, BUT MY BA­BIES are happy

A bat­tle with anx­i­ety, a love for Snapchat and healthy dose of real talk – wel­come to life with The Young Mummy, So­phie Cachia

Mother & Baby (Australia) - - Your Fashion -

SO­PHIE CACHIA, 26, IS NO STRANGER TO CON­TRO­VERSY. PEN­NING THE YOUNG MUMMY BLOG HAS GAINED HER HUN­DREDS OF THOU­SANDS OF FOL­LOW­ERS WHO PRAISE HER VERY FRANK AND UNADUL­TER­ATED PER­SPEC­TIVE ON MOTH­ER­HOOD. SHE’S HIT THE HEAD­LINES IN THE PAST FOR SNAPCHAT­TING HER LABOUR AND HAV­ING NAME RE­GRET WITH HER BABY GIRL. HERE, SHE CHATS TO

M&B ABOUT BE­ING IN THE PUB­LIC EYE AND LIFE WITH HER HUS­BAND, JARYD, 25, AND KIDS BOBBY, THREE, AND FLORENCE, 13 WEEKS.

Blog­ging be­gin­nings

I first got preg­nant when I was 22. I was re­ally, re­ally over­whelmed. I found be­ing preg­nant re­ally hard the first time around. I strug­gled with my body chang­ing, I strug­gled men­tally, and all I had ever read on­line was how beau­ti­ful preg­nancy was.

I had to de­fer my jour­nal­ism de­gree at the time be­cause I was so sick. And be­cause I sup­pose I was bored, I just started doc­u­ment­ing my jour­ney and not think­ing any­thing of it. Peo­ple kept shar­ing my posts and I re­mem­ber get­ting an email ask­ing me when the next one was. I don’t ever say I was the first one, but at the time the only sort of blog­gers who I fol­lowed wrote about fash­ion, beauty and travel. I thought I cre­ated a space where a lot of women could just come and read about what life is re­ally like. It’s not ev­ery­one’s cup of tea and that’s to­tally fine. Now you see mum blog­gers and it has evolved so much, they’re pop­ping up ev­ery­where. It’s just so great that it’s be­com­ing more ac­cept­able for us to talk about things so frankly. It’s like a mas­sive on­line mother’s group and it’s so good, be­cause you get to com­mu­ni­cate and hear other peo­ple’s sto­ries and see how they’re deal­ing with things. It’s great that there are women out there who want to help oth­ers, who want to cre­ate these on­line com­mu­ni­ties. It’s a pos­i­tive and beau­ti­ful thing.

Sec­ond time around

I had a lot of anx­i­ety lead­ing up to Flossy’s birth, be­cause I had a hard time with Bobby when he was born. Dur­ing this preg­nancy I started to have some thoughts, like ‘What have I done?’ It was al­most like re­gret. For so long I wanted to get preg­nant and then when I did I wor­ried about how I would cope. I had a lot of trou­ble sleep­ing, stress­ing about it all be­cause I had quite bad anx­i­ety and post-par­tum de­pres­sion around the six-month mark af­ter I had Bobby and I was pet­ri­fied of that com­ing back. That’s prob­a­bly where my fear stems from. My hus­band would just re­as­sure me that we’re a team, and we’re in it to­gether.

Now she’s here, I am so much more re­laxed. She’s a good baby, but ev­ery­one around me says it’s be­cause I’m just so much more re­laxed with her, so I think it works both ways. Life is a lot more chaotic; I still have wash­ing on my ta­ble that’s been there for about a month, but my ba­bies are happy.

Baby sis­ter

Through­out the whole preg­nancy, I would say to Bobby, ‘A baby is go­ing to come out of my body’. As a two-year-old at the time he re­ally un­der­stood what was hap­pen­ing be­fore the baby ar­rived, which was good. Even when I was in labour, I said, ‘Bobby, I am go­ing to the hospi­tal and I’m go­ing to bring home the baby’. At the hospi­tal, he walked straight over to me and said, “The baby came out of your belly, Mum’.

He’s not nasty to­wards his sis­ter but he’s def­i­nitely full-on. He wants to cud­dle her, drag her out of bed by her neck and put her un­der his arm. He’s like, ‘Mum, I’m just cud­dling her!’ He doesn’t un­der­stand how strong he is com­pared to her. We’re teach­ing him that she’s still so lit­tle, and del­i­cate and it has been a bit tricky.

Snapchat sto­ries

I had a few pho­tos of the birthing process with Bobby, but I didn’t have any video footage. I Snapchat ab­so­lutely ev­ery­thing in my life so why not this? I didn’t see it as ex­po­sure for The Young Mummy blog; I saw it as an ed­u­ca­tional thing for peo­ple and an op­por­tu­nity to see some­one in labour. There were lots of scep­tics and a lot of crit­i­cism around what I did. But, the feed­back I had was phe­nom­e­nal.

I strug­gled men­tally, and all I had ever read on­line was how beau­ti­ful preg­nancy was.

I had more than a mil­lion peo­ple tuned in that day to watch, which was in­cred­i­ble. I even had men say­ing, ‘My wife’s due in six months and I’m now go­ing in with a lit­tle bit of in­sight’. I was never go­ing to Snapchat the end, so I went off­line for about two hours when I was get­ting her out, feed­ing her and hav­ing nap time. The worst part? I for­got to save most of them!

Name change

I changed Flossy’s name from Betty to Florence a few days af­ter she was born. Betty is a woman in Jaryd’s life who is like a great-grand­mother fig­ure. She was turn­ing 100 while I was preg­nant and I said to Jaryd, ‘Wouldn’t it be cute if we had a girl and called her Betty?’ Look­ing back now, I think I got too caught up in the idea that Bobby and Betty to­gether was so cute, that I didn’t ac­tu­ally stop and think about whether I pic­tured my daugh­ter be­ing called Betty.

When she came out, it was such a shock and Betty was the first girl’s name that came into my head. It was al­most in­stantly that I thought, ‘What have I done?’ and look­ing back now, I don’t know why I didn’t say I wasn’t sure. An hour later I was re­ally look­ing at her face and she didn’t look like what I pic­tured Betty to look like, she looked ex­actly what I pic­tured Florence to look like. I said, ‘I don’t know if she suits Betty’ and ev­ery­one in the room said, ‘Don’t be silly, you’re just hor­monal, it’s fine, she’s gor­geous,’ but that just never stuck with me.

It re­ally sunk in when I left the hospi­tal and a cou­ple in the lift asked what her name was. I was em­bar­rassed to say my daugh­ter’s name. It was then I said to Jaryd, ‘I’ve got a big is­sue here’. We started to try out dif­fer­ent names and she was ac­tu­ally called Missy for two days and that didn’t stick. We went back to Florence, which is what we called her for about a week be­fore we told any­body. We wanted to get Bobby’s head around it be­fore we told any­one else and he picked up on it re­ally quickly, which was amaz­ing.

The re-in­tro­duc­tion of Florence

I re­ally didn’t worry about the pub­lic’s opin­ion and I ac­tu­ally got a lot of sup­port.

I had so many mes­sages of sup­port from peo­ple say­ing to change her name if that was my gut feel­ing. It was more com­mon than you’d think. I knew a few me­dia out­lets would have a field day with the name change and I wanted to make it light-hearted. We changed her name, she doesn’t know, no-one is af­fected by it. I thought do­ing it from Bobby’s per­spec­tive would be re­ally cute and be­cause he’d taken to it so well. We’d al­ways en­vi­sioned we’d call Florence ‘Flo’, but the first or sec­ond time Bobby tried to say the name Florence he’d say ‘Flossy’. The fact that her brother gave her the nick­name for her, I think it’s so cute. And it all worked out how it’s sup­posed to. It’s the best de­ci­sion we’ve made.

Re­al­ity check

It’s not very of­ten that I stop in my tracks and think ‘What am I do­ing?’ or ‘I don’t want to do this any­more’, but dur­ing a re­cent week­end away, I did. I went down to our beach house and peo­ple were tak­ing pho­tos of my chil­dren, not think­ing I could see them do­ing it. Most of the time it’s re­ally in­no­cent and they prob­a­bly don’t think what they are do­ing is weird. But that got me think­ing, ‘What am I do­ing? Do I need to bring up my kids where it’s okay for ran­dom peo­ple to take pho­tos of them?’ Be­cause I post pho­tos of my kids, peo­ple as­sume they can take pho­tos of them with­out ask­ing and I get re­ally de­fen­sive over that.

I don’t re­gret any­thing that I’ve done, but some­times it gets a bit over­whelm­ing with peo­ple want­ing pho­tos of my kids be­cause they see them on­line. Peo­ple just don’t un­der­stand that they’re my kids. And I can choose what pho­tos I want to post. My kids are go­ing to grow up and go, ‘Mum, why did you do that?’, but that’s the funny part of it. I want to bring my kids up with the same at­ti­tude that I’ve got – to not be em­bar­rassed, but to be happy with the peo­ple they are.

SO­PHIE WEARS Kaliver ‘Candy Yum Yum’ top, $266; Jean­swest ‘Jas­mine’ leather skirt, $229; Stylist’s own neck­lace; Next flo­ral em­broi­dered block heel boots, $89 FLOSSY WEARS Pretty Wild ‘Grace’ body­suit, $99; Hub­ble + Duke ‘Chelsea’ soft soled T-bar shoes, $45 BOBBY WEARS Mambo logo tee, $14, and zip hoodie, $25; Mun­ster Kids ‘Four’ pants, $59.95; Con­verse Chuck Tay­lor All Star Crea­tures toddler low top sneak­ers, $70

SO­PHIE WEARS Camilla ‘Chi­nese Whispers’ sheer cape in Hani Heaven, $489; SRC Es­sen­tials feed­ing tank, $49.95, and tube skirt, $49.95; So­phie’s own shoes FLOSSY WEARS Bella + Lace ‘Coco’ romper, $49.95; Lam­ing­ton ‘Wil­low’ new­born merino socks, $16.40*

SO­PHIE WEARS Car­lie Bal­lard ‘Trail­blazer’ shirt, $179, and ‘No­mad’ skirt, $159; So­phie’s own shoes FLOSSY WEARS Ba­bies”R”Us ‘I’m New Here’ jump­suit, $24.99; Car­lie Bal­lard baby ‘Trav­eller’ pants, $39; Hub­ble + Duke ‘Brighton’ boots, $45 BOBBY WEARS Nu­nunu ‘Solid’ T-shirt, from $68; Band of Boys vin­tage stretch skinny jeans, $55; Bobby’s own shoes

SO­PHIE WEARS Kaliver ‘In Kaliver We Trust’ bomber jacket, $425; Sara at Ezibuy tex­tured shim­mer tu­nic, $59.99; Jean­swest ‘Prima’ tummy trim­mer su­per skinny jeans, $129; Con­verse Chuck Tay­lor All Star me­tal­lic toe cap high top sneak­ers, $100 FLOSSY WEARS Lil Missie at Mun­ster Kids ‘Petals’ top, $49.95, and ‘Sparkle’ pants,

$39.95; Hub­ble + Duke ‘Chelsea’ soft soled T-bar shoes, $45 BOBBY WEARS Mun­ster Kids ‘Moun­tain’ crew jumper, $69.95; Bobby’s own jeans and shoes

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