TOOL NUMBER 1:
Describe what you see
Resist the impulse to evaluate and instead simply describe what you see, hear, or notice. Instead of ‘That’s a beautiful picture,’ try ‘I see green lines that are zooming up and down the page. And look how they connect all those red shapes’. Instead of ‘Good job’ try ‘I see you picked up all the cars and all the books, and you even picked up all the building blocks! That was a big job’. Instead of ‘Well done, you did what you were told to do!’, try saying, ‘You put your coat on as soon as you heard it was time to go home’. Or if you’re not in the mood for a lot of words, you can simply say, ‘You did it!’. All of these statements let your child know that you noticed and appreciated something he did.