TOOL NUM­BER 2:

De­scribe the ef­fect on oth­ers

Mother & Baby (Australia) - - Cool Compliments -

We all want our kids to be good cit­i­zens. We’d like to en­cour­age their ef­forts to help oth­ers. But we need to be­ware the temp­ta­tion to judge their char­ac­ter. So stick with de­scrip­tion: in­stead of ‘You’re a good girl,’ you can say, ‘You car­ried that gro­cery bag all the way to the kitchen. That was a big help to me’. In­stead of ‘You’re the best big brother,’ you can say ‘She loves it when you make those funny sounds, I see a big smile on her face’. In­stead of ‘Good boy, I knew you could be nice to the cat if you tried’, you can say ‘I hear Sparky purring, she likes that gen­tle pet­ting’.

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