Lessons to take on board for bumpy road to ad­ven­ture

Mt Druitt - St Mary's Standard (East) - - NEWS - Mi­randa Mur­phy is a mother of three and a jour­nal­ist at The Aus­tralian. Fol­low her on Twit­ter @mur­phymi­randa

“AD­VEN­TURES,” grum­bled our six-year-old as she trudged through yet an­other stun­ning out­back gorge, “are things your par­ents make you go on.”

Read­ers of this col­umn may re­call my fam­ily has just been on what the kids dubbed our “six-week bush­walk”, a camp­ing trip across North­ern Aus­tralia. I’m pleased to re­port we all sur­vived.

As a pub­lic ser­vice, should you ever rashly at­tempt a sim­i­lar jour­ney, here are some things we have learned from our ex­pe­ri­ence:

A drive along a very bumpy dirt road can shake a loose tooth out of a kid’s jaw.

When it comes to driv­ing mu­sic, there is no com­pro­mise po­si­tion be­tween Tay­lor Swift and Mid­night Oil.

It takes two missed main meals for the av­er­age child to “eat any­thing if they’re hun­gry enough”.

Even if the ground un­der­foot is near-fa­tally sharp with rocks, sticks or prick­les, you will still need to bel­low “SHOES!” at your four-year-old boy ev­ery time he makes to go any­where.

Kids will find ab­so­lutely any­thing to ar­gue about.

Some of the best beef in Aus­tralia is found at out­back ser­vice sta­tions.

You can sell a kid any plan if it ends with a swim.

You can clear a car­a­van park pool area within three min­utes by in­tro­duc­ing five kids into it.

Red dust is im­per­vi­ous to any laun­dry de­ter­gent.

Get­ting a kid to sit down and write in their travel jour­nal is like pulling teeth. Can I rec­om­mend a drive down a bumpy dirt road?

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