Lessons to take on board for bumpy road to adventure
“ADVENTURES,” grumbled our six-year-old as she trudged through yet another stunning outback gorge, “are things your parents make you go on.”
Readers of this column may recall my family has just been on what the kids dubbed our “six-week bushwalk”, a camping trip across Northern Australia. I’m pleased to report we all survived.
As a public service, should you ever rashly attempt a similar journey, here are some things we have learned from our experience:
A drive along a very bumpy dirt road can shake a loose tooth out of a kid’s jaw.
When it comes to driving music, there is no compromise position between Taylor Swift and Midnight Oil.
It takes two missed main meals for the average child to “eat anything if they’re hungry enough”.
Even if the ground underfoot is near-fatally sharp with rocks, sticks or prickles, you will still need to bellow “SHOES!” at your four-year-old boy every time he makes to go anywhere.
Kids will find absolutely anything to argue about.
Some of the best beef in Australia is found at outback service stations.
You can sell a kid any plan if it ends with a swim.
You can clear a caravan park pool area within three minutes by introducing five kids into it.
Red dust is impervious to any laundry detergent.
Getting a kid to sit down and write in their travel journal is like pulling teeth. Can I recommend a drive down a bumpy dirt road?