Straight talking on the Census questions
Unpaid domestic work … well, yes, there is that
WITH last week’s Census 2016 night being Officially A Shambles, we – like many of our country folk – were unable to lodge our form online.
We’ve got a few weeks still to get it in but I figured I’d do the poor old Australian Bureau of Statistics a favour and just complete my Census here so they can cut it out and stick it on the ABS fridge for use when they’re ready. Here goes:
Who resides at this address: Two grown-ups; three smallish children; two enormous goldfish possibly about to be sneakily relocated to the neighbours’ pond; one dear little skink that lives on our fireplace; a bajillion pantry moths.
Male or female: Various. Can’t be sure about the fish or the skink.
What is the person’s relationship to Person 1/Person 2: Person 2 is the one who leans over Person 1’s shoulder while they fill in the Census form and makes helpful suggestions like “you’ve filled out that bit wrong”.
Marital status: May be heading for divorce very shortly as a result of Person 2 interfering with Person 1’s work on said Census form.
Ancestry: 100 per cent freckly redhead.
Languages spoken at home: English, whining, shouting, cursing, poo jokes.
Occupation: Dad: works, at work. Mum: part-time journalist. Children: primary school students, mostly fulltime except when successful in convincing Person 1 or 2 of a tummy ache.
Family income: All spent at Colesworths.
Is this dwelling owned outright: Oh statisticians, you do make us laugh.
For Sydneysiders the Census has helpfully pre-ticked the ‘no’ box.
Number of bedrooms: Hey ABS – does one room ‘shared’ by two kids, divided down the middle by a length of masking tape, count as two bedrooms?
Number of Matchbox.
Does the household use the internet: Little did the Census know how brilliantly ironic this question would turn out to be. A better query would be: does the Australian Bureau of Statistics use the internet?
And finally … In the last week did the person spend time doing unpaid domestic work for their household? Sigh. Do not start me, Census, do NOT even start me. cars: Follow me on Twitter @murphymiranda 147