CLIENTS from hell
Exclusively for net: the latest in a series of anonymous accounts of nightmare clients
A designer comes face to face with a client with an unhealthy fear of fraud
Clients from hell
A few years back, I designed an annual report for a polarising non-profit. Everything was looking great, including the printer’s last PDF proof. After over 10,000 reports had been printed (several pages and a speciality paper cover, printed with metallic ink, saddle-stitched with staples), the CEO called me in a panic.
Client: There’s a huge mistake! My signature on the welcome letter in the inner front cover is missing!
Me: You’re right, that’s odd. It was in the final printer proof. I called the printer and they checked their digital files. Apparently the linked signature image had somehow ‘fallen off’ when the cover was printed. They apologised and offered to make a stamp of the CEO’s signature, which they’d use to stamp the thousands of reports with metallic ink.
Me: I think it’s solved. The printer will make a stamp of your signature and hand-stamp all the reports.
Client: No! They cannot make my signature into a stamp. Me: Why not?
Client: If it gets into the wrong hands, people could just stamp my signature on anything. It could ruin my reputation, and the organisation’s.
Me: But don’t you already have your signature as a stamp internally?
Client: That’s different. Me: Well, they’d give us the stamps that they made; they wouldn’t keep them.
Client: But they would still have the ability to make more stamps.
Me: But they already have your signature as an image file right now.
Client: I don’t care! They must reprint the covers! I begrudgingly told the printer and apologised to them profusely. They had all the covers torn off by hand, ordered new speciality paper, re-printed them, and then reattached all the new ones.