Clients from hell
Exclusively for net: the latest in a series of anonymous accounts of nightmare clients
One forward-thinking client has plans to revolutionise web design
I’m a freelance web developer, and I have a client who is notorious for requesting absurd features. One day I received an email with this request for his website.
Client: Can you code a frame in our portal so that users have a browser window inside a browser window that uses the person’s local ISP bandwidth instead of the web server? My guess at this point is that he is asking for an iframe on one of his pages, but I call him to check. Me: Can you explain exactly what you need?
Client: We need a frame on the website that is a browser that users can go to other websites in. It needs to go through the user’s ISP, though. Will you check if there is a plugin for that?
Me: I don’t believe there is anything like that exactly. What I could do is add an iframe that allows you to display a webpage within a webpage, but it wouldn’t be a full web browser.
Client: We really want the full features of a web browser in the frame.
Me: OK, but why?
Client: We want to offer a full desktop experience on our website. We want users to feel like they’re using a full computer from our website, like when I use a virtual desktop. Me: …
Client: I think this will blow people’s minds – a full computer in their browser. But we need to use their bandwidth instead of ours, because it’s going to get expensive. Me: …
Client: I think this is going to be huge. Me: …
Client: So you’ll research if there’s a plugin? Me: Sure. I just ended up letting the client know there is no such plugin, and that while I could create one, it would be a very large project. It didn’t take long for him to forget this bad idea. Of course, that’s because he thought of a new, more exciting bad idea – but that’s another story.