— trucks, parts and other services
GET WELL MARGO
We have heard that Margo Moran, wife of John ‘The Ferret’ Moran, had a fall recently, resulting in a fracture of her right hip.
Margo is 88 and will need to undergo surgery as soon as possible. She is the patron for Rockhampton’s CQ Convoy, which is taking place on September 2.
All the best for Margo and John, and we wish Margo a quick recovery.
MANIC AT MARULAN
Be very aware when pulling into the Marulan weighbridge. There’s a particularly pernickety officer who is interpreting the overloading regulations down to the last kilogram.
Unfortunately, there’s no way of avoiding it when travelling along the Hume. At the very least you’ll be wasting hours while the officer in question has his fun.
Murphy applied for a forklift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the manager. When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
The manager went to Murphy and said, “Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the Norwegian the job.”
Murphy asked, “And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct – this being Ireland, and me being Irish, surely I should get the job.”
The manager replied, “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”
“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?” Murphy queried.
The manager explained, “Simple; on question number seven the Norwegian wrote down, ‘I don’t know’. You put down, ‘Neither do I.’”
It’s been reported that erstwhile Owner/ Driver editorial contributor Scotty Douglas has been assaulted by grey nomads at Queensland truck stop.
Scotty was held in hospital for observation after receiving minor injuries as a result of being pelted by cucumber sandwiches and Clix crackers.
Local authorities are paying special attention to those who left comments in reply to Scotty’s rant on this magazine’s website www.ownerdriver.com.au as they continue their investigation.
MORE ON SCOTTY
Word has it that Scotty Douglas’s brother Darryl and his girlfriend Sharlene – Dazza and Shazza to their mates – have been hit with a big fine in Eridunda for running a driving school without the proper qualifications.
The couple have allegedly been teaching grey nomads how to couple up caravans, camper trailers and the like, and how to demand their rights to the road when traveling in company with large articulated truck combinations.
The driving school, though unlicensed and unofficial, is run
from the couple’s veteran Viscount caravan and has been a huge success according to many attendees, with most citing a tremendous sense of confidence in a new-found ability to travel with a relaxed, almost euphoric ignorance following the application of Dazza’s driving principles and Shazza’s specially formulated nasal relaxant. To avoid future fines, the couple have moved the caravan south to the tourist hot spot of Coober Pedy.
NO FUEL AT SERVOS
It seems that the mining industry’s downturn is having an effect on the livelihood of some service station operators in Western Australia’s north-west.
At one stage they were reduced to selling food only, and no fuel.
Too bad if you had a fuel card. Things may be on the up and up however, with the parent company coming to the aid of the franchise owners.
Milo the truckie has decided to give up on social media and is trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
Every day Milo walks down the street and tells passers-by what he’s eaten, how he feels, what he did the night before, and what he will do tomorrow.
He then shows them pictures of his family, his dog, and his efforts at growing a giant pumpkin for the next agricultural show.
He listens to their conversations and tells them he loves them. It works. He already has three people following him – two police officers and a psychiatrist.
A small-town copper pulls over an old man in a light rig because the bed of his truck is full of ducks.
The copper says, “Sir, it is unacceptable to have this many ducks in the back of a ute, especially in the main street of town. Take them to the zoo this instant!”
The old man says he will and drives off. The next day the officer sees the same man in the same truck still full of ducks. Only this time all the ducks are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls him over again and yells, “I told you to take these ducks to the zoo!” The old man replies, “I did! But now the little buggers want to go to the beach!”
The Transport Workers Union (TWU) may feel that it’s the voice of Aussie truck drivers but there was some doubt cast recently on how in tune the union actually is with the industry.
Our spy was negotiating evening traffic on a Perth freeway when he noticed a ute dazzling everyone with its wanker (fog) lights on.
Turns out it was a nicely sign written TWU Ford Ranger. Oops!