TIME SINCE LAUNCH

PC & Tech Authority - - MOST WANTED TECHDESK -

The bat­tle for most in­dul­gent and bor­der­line use­less time­piece goes ever on, and the PCTA Labs’ trea­sured Mr Wolf flip clock (where in­stead of num­bers, there are pic­tures you have to in­ter­pret as num­bers, like an old US bomber for the num­ber 52, ged­dit?) still reigns supreme. Though Mr Wolf needs to watch out: a new con­tender has arisen, com­bin­ing a time read­out that means noth­ing for day-to-day us­age with a “pull the pin to start the clock” aes­thetic, cre­at­ing a sen­sa­tion that re­ally can­not be de­scribed any other way than “ul­ti­mate wank”.

MOST WANTED:

This is an at­trac­tive piece of desk or­na­men­ta­tion with its gas­keted alu­minium end-caps and borosil­i­cate glass tube. All the art­fully ex­posed elec­tronic con­nec­tors are gold-plated, and it uses a Maxim In­te­grated DS3231 tem­per­a­ture-com­pen­sated crys­tal os­cil­la­tor chip to count time for the en­tirety of its 40-year bat­tery life.

NOT WANTED:

Note we say “count time” not “tell time”, be­cause the Time Since Launch doesn’t ac­tu­ally tell time. When you pull the pin, it starts count­ing up sec­onds, to a dis­play-max­i­mum of 999,999 days, 23 hours, 59 min­utes and 59 sec­onds. The idea is that the Time Since Launch “cre­ates your per­sonal epoch” from what­ever mo­ment you choose. The birth of your first child seems no­ble enough, but other sug­ges­tions in­clude “since I quit drink­ing” and “be­cause it’s Tues­day”. Still, the idea of a de­vice that uses the very best in durable and ac­cu­rate time­keep­ing tech­nol­ogy, but which doesn’t in fact tell time, is very much our kind of ridicu­lous.

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