Meet the UK’S hottest new export
NOT all English blokes are dickheads. We know this will come as shocking news to most of you, but it’s the only conclusion we can come to after discovering they’ve made Summer St Claire one of the top magazine models in Pomgolia.
“My bottom seems to grab the most attention,” says the stunning 25-year-old.
“‘Cherry Bum’ has become my nickname over here. Personally, I love the ratio of my hourglass figure, though.”
Can you tell us about those chesticles?
“They seem to eat more than I do. Always collecting crumbs! I’ll take my bra off at the end of the day and always
find a collection of food. It’s a bit gross but I can’t help being a bit top-heavy. I have to take the pros with the cons.”
Europe sounds a bit fucked with all that terrorism business. Have you ever thought about coming down to GODZONE?
“I have actually seriously considered it – I’m not joking. A lot of my friends have been there and say how wonderful it is. I’ve put it on the list of places I want to go to very soon.”
Have you ever had an alfresco fuck somewhere you shouldn’t have?
“All I’m saying is, what happens in Spain, stays in Spain. My lips are sealed! Sorry, guys.”
Fair enough. Something we’d never guess about you is…
“I’m a very down-to earth and normal girl. People tend to assume I’m something I’m not until they get to know me.”
Do you have a favourite rooting position?
“I like to mix it up a lot. I hate routine in general, particularly in the bedroom. But if I had to choose one I’d go with doggy. It’s the most fun.” There are worse ways to spend a Sunday arvo.
“MY BOTTOM GRABS THE MOST ATTENTION”