1. Some Eastern folks believe marriages ARE GRAND - a bit like blind dates but they last a lot longer! (8). 5. Good piece of meat to pork with (3). 7. Every summer she flies to the Costa del Sol AND PAIRS up with a guy from Barcelona (8). 12. Long rods that go into lubed- up holes (9). 13. That island which I CARP on and on about (5). 14. Girls, when a guy gives you these red flowers on Valentine’s Day, beware of the prick! (5). 16. Sportsmen whose sole aim is to whack their balls as little as possible (7). 18. Looks for my meat in a game of hide the sausage (5). 22. The sort of bird you’ll see racing at the Bathurst 1000 (6). 24. Lewd Exhibitionist Constantly Hassling Every Regular (6). 25. A person who changes gender AS NUTS RELAX (11). 26. This tit’ll give you something to tattle about (6). 27. The planet that sounds like it might be located inside your undies (6). 30. The dirty CRUD SET out by telling the filthiest of jokes (7). 32. It might hold up a bridge, unless of course it RUSTS (5). 33. Pulling your pod, you BEGIN AT the beginning and come at the end (7). 34. Saucy rhymes that sometimes start with “There was a young girl from” (9). 35. Sexual liaisons held without the wife knowing (7). 38. The sort of people who let their tackle hang out while strolling in the DUNES (5). 39. YES! CAST off your inhibitions. Just take this pill, said the druggie (7). 44. The kind of woman who inhabits a particular adult SECTOR of society (6). 46. Get on BOARD A broad overseas (6). 47. Brutus was the first in history, but any politician in Canberra will stick it in while the leader’s not looking (11). 48. Italian city where those hot- blooded kids Romeo and Juliet used to RAVE ON (6). 49. It’s very poor form to have relations with your relations, so try to RESIST (6). 52. This old bloke went a bit ‘dotty’ and had to ‘dash’ off (5). 55. According to Benny Hill, Ernie the ... would make her cream every day (7). 56. If you find it, she’s likely to quiver with delight. P.S. GOT it yet? (1-4). 58. Do you speak to your wife after sex? Depends if I’ve got my mobile ... with me! (5). 59. The love a woman shows towards ten inches OF NICE FAT pork sausage (9). 61. I got my jollies with that nice girl ALI, BY the fountain in Tripoli (5). 62. You’ll get the SAME SAGS as me, if you don’t have regular rub-downs from your physio (8). 63. Initially I thought she was a Sexually Hamstrung Youngster but hell, was I wrong! (3). 64. With SUCH NEAT chest puppies, she’s certainly had her fair share of bedroom buddies (8).
2. It’s what you get off among the boulders (5). 3. Hooters or schnozzles that smell a lot (5). 4. The best part of any romcom is when it says ‘The ...’ (3). 5. Overcome with LUST, HE decided to solicit her services (6). 6. A pure young girl who might AID MEN to satisfy their urges (6). 8. She UPS and leaves when she spies his pimple secretion (3). 9. What Mr Giraffe does when he kisses his missus (5). 10. The forbidden fruit that had Adam rooted (5). 15. I was thrilled when my EX CITED me for divorce (7). 16. She moans with pleasure when he feels inside her SARONG (6). 17. TLC didn’t want none of these, ’cos they’re guys who can’t get no love (6). 19. A girl who manages to bewitch me, CAN THEN lead me astray (7). 20. Prods his porking poker into her, something he certainly won’t RESENT doing (6). 21. With your appeal, U’RE ALL I need to help warm my bed, he whispered (6). 23. The dirty bastard HAS cig droppings on his coat (3). 28. When in Amsterdam, I got sexual with a nice girl. A hundred EUROS, GONE! (9). 29. These birds can’t fly and keep burying their own heads – that’s worthy of a SHIT SCORE (9). 31. You can’t STOP LES from drinking in bars where the girls have their goods out (7). 33. How could my arse BE SO RED just from lying in the sack? (7). 36. She became so horny, I had to book US A ROOM at once (7). 37. A bloody idiot who’ll GRAB AT any piece of skirt he sees (6). 40. You find this puzzle crude? I don’t CARE, SO up yours, you rancid turd! (6). 41. STRUTH’S her only exclamation, when he rams home his weapon (7). 42. This machine really sucks (6). 43. Look out! This monkey will give your BOOB AN awful tweak, girls (6). 45. She knew roughly when her pilot was coming - he gave her his Estimated Time of Arrival (1,1,1). 50. All foreigners are OK, so long as they get the ALES IN (6). 51. Dirty and nasty - a bit like this magazine. Just kidding, Mr Editor! (6). 53. Shows off his TORSO as he bonks under a tree (5). 54. Just because ’e liked the nurse, it didn’t MEAN ’E wanted a hose jammed up ’is arse (5). 56. Silly pink and grey bird that annoys the hell out of our farmers (5). 57. Short and curlies that might get stuck in your teeth during a spot of carpet munching (5). 59. Got a meal in you, and some TEA as well (3). 60. Short answer the mademoiselle gave me when I asked for ‘un fuck’! (3).