GIVE UP, NOW
HOW often do we hear motivational speakers telling us anyone can achieve their goals if they work hard and put their minds to it? Fucking bullshit! Even if only one-quarter of one percent of the Australian population wanted to achieve Olympic glory, that’s still over 50,000 people. And then you get the greedy ones that win three gold medals in three consecutive games. And how many politicians want to be prime minister? There just isn’t enough time for everyone to have a go. Those motivational speakers charge huge bucks and sell us false hope. E. K., KIRWAN MUNGO SAYS: They’re cunts, those guys with the head mics who charge $200 to watch them jump around doing the woohoo thing and pretending they give a fuck. Here’s my advice: Hit the couch. Have a beer. DO NOTHING.