THE PRO­FES­SIONAL

Picture (Australia) - - You're Joking -

SWEDISH CO­ME­DIAN OLAF FALAFEL

“All I’m say­ing is, if you name your daugh­ter Cruella, don’t be sur­prised when she turns out evil.” “JOKES ABOUT WHITE SUGAR ARE RARE. BUT BROWN SUGAR – DEMERARA.”

“I wasn’t par­tic­u­larly close to my dad be­fore he died... which was lucky, be­cause he trod on a land mine.” “IF YOU’RE CHASED BY A PACK OF TAXI­DER­MISTS, DON’T PLAY DEAD.” “It all starts in­no­cently, mix­ing choco­late and nuts. But be­fore you know it, you’re adding bis­cuits and marsh­mal­lows – it’s a rocky road.”

“I’VE BEEN LEARN­ING HOW TO GUESS THE WEIGHT OF DOGS – I PICKED UP A FEW POINT­ERS YES­TER­DAY.”

“I can’t de­cide how to dis­guise the em­bar­rass­ing tat­too on the back of my neck. I might have to mul­let over.”

WHAT CUNT STOLE MY RA­ZOR?

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