CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR

Picture (Australia) - - Worst Fuck - L.Y., PIC­NIC POINT, NSW

I THOUGHT it was gunna be the best root of my life, but it turned out to be the worst. Is­abel was a hot 19-year-old who just ex­uded sex. I was ob­sessed. And I wasn’t the only one – most of the blokes I knew would’ve given their right arm to root her.

Any­way, there she was at a party, giv­ing me the bed­room eyes and rub­bing her hot bod up against me.

When she leaned in to give me a tonguey I was in heaven. When she whis­pered, “Is there some­where we could go?” I nearly shot my bolt on the spot.

Trou­ble was, ev­ery other bloke at the party was giv­ing me the evil eye ‘cos they all wanted what it looked like I was gunna get.

I had brought my sleep­ing bag so I could crash out later, so I grabbed that and steered Is­abel out­side to­wards the dark end of the back­yard.

Lit­tle did I know that sev­eral pairs of en­vi­ous eyes were watch­ing us as

Is­abel slith­ered out of her clothes, re­veal­ing her mag­nif­i­cent tits and lit­tle land­ing strip in the moon­light.

I was naked and slip­ping on a franger in a frac­tion of a sec­ond, was just about to slide my dick into her when whack, some­thing hit me on the back.

Then some­thing else, then more shit rained down on us – cans, ap­ple cores, then a bag of lawn clip­pings.

Turned out that jeal­ously had got the bet­ter of Is­abel’s other admirers and they were all crouch­ing in the dark chuck­ing crap at us.

Is­abel sim­ply said “Fuck this!”, grabbed her clothes and bolted. I was left ly­ing there naked, cov­ered in crap. And I never got an­other shot at her.

Not so much the worst root, as the root that never was, but it still makes me wake up scream­ing to this day.

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