CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR
I THOUGHT it was gunna be the best root of my life, but it turned out to be the worst. Isabel was a hot 19-year-old who just exuded sex. I was obsessed. And I wasn’t the only one – most of the blokes I knew would’ve given their right arm to root her.
Anyway, there she was at a party, giving me the bedroom eyes and rubbing her hot bod up against me.
When she leaned in to give me a tonguey I was in heaven. When she whispered, “Is there somewhere we could go?” I nearly shot my bolt on the spot.
Trouble was, every other bloke at the party was giving me the evil eye ‘cos they all wanted what it looked like I was gunna get.
I had brought my sleeping bag so I could crash out later, so I grabbed that and steered Isabel outside towards the dark end of the backyard.
Little did I know that several pairs of envious eyes were watching us as
Isabel slithered out of her clothes, revealing her magnificent tits and little landing strip in the moonlight.
I was naked and slipping on a franger in a fraction of a second, was just about to slide my dick into her when whack, something hit me on the back.
Then something else, then more shit rained down on us – cans, apple cores, then a bag of lawn clippings.
Turned out that jealously had got the better of Isabel’s other admirers and they were all crouching in the dark chucking crap at us.
Isabel simply said “Fuck this!”, grabbed her clothes and bolted. I was left lying there naked, covered in crap. And I never got another shot at her.
Not so much the worst root, as the root that never was, but it still makes me wake up screaming to this day.