Angry dugong arrives
DUCK for cover - Derek the angry dugong is about to unleash his “horrorscopes” on the Douglas region and no star sign is safe.
Derek joins the Gazette team from this week armed with his crystal ball and a seething anger towards, well, society in general.
What the angry dugong lacks in knowledge about horoscopes he more than compensates for with his sharp tongue and aggressive outlook on life.
“I make no apologies about it, I’m a very angry dugong and I don’t like people in particular,” Derek said.
“My mates get caught in fishing nets, speared, hooked by fishing lures, basically we’ve had enough.
“I’m doing my ’horrorscopes’ on behalf of all dugongs to tell you humans how it really is. “Like it or lump it, I don’t care.” To see how you fare according to Derek’s weekly “horrorscopes”, turn to page 31 of today’s Gazette.