An­gry dugong ar­rives

Port Douglas & Mossman Gazette - - NEWS -

DUCK for cover - Derek the an­gry dugong is about to un­leash his “hor­rorscopes” on the Dou­glas re­gion and no star sign is safe.

Derek joins the Gazette team from this week armed with his crys­tal ball and a seething anger to­wards, well, so­ci­ety in gen­eral.

What the an­gry dugong lacks in knowl­edge about horo­scopes he more than com­pen­sates for with his sharp tongue and ag­gres­sive out­look on life.

“I make no apolo­gies about it, I’m a very an­gry dugong and I don’t like peo­ple in par­tic­u­lar,” Derek said.

“My mates get caught in fish­ing nets, speared, hooked by fish­ing lures, ba­si­cally we’ve had enough.

“I’m do­ing my ’hor­rorscopes’ on be­half of all dugongs to tell you hu­mans how it re­ally is. “Like it or lump it, I don’t care.” To see how you fare ac­cord­ing to Derek’s weekly “hor­rorscopes”, turn to page 31 of to­day’s Gazette.

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