THIS week your love will be heartbroken. Best to comfort them, not walk away. If you choose to walk, you will walk straight into a mess of broken limbs . . . I promise! THIS week your spirits will at first be buoyed as you get many message of love . . . then your colleagues will soon burst your bubble when they point out its only SPAM! THIS week your colleagues should only be too happy to sing your praises . . . ding dong . . . the witch is dead! LOVE will be fleeting for you this week . . . well, you had better run like hell or that mad, old cow from down the road at number 57 will catch and then you’re for it! THIS week love will find you falling short but don’t worry . . . there’s lovely little blue tablets you can take for that! THIS week love is definitely on your side and romance is in the air . . . so you can breathe it in deep – just don’t choke! YOUR education will be stepped up a notch as your professor takes you under his wing and takes you to his home and shows you his rubber room! WORK this week for you will be okay so long as you don’t act all superior and this will make the people you work with much happier with you . . . for the time being! THIS week will see you take up sports for the first time in your life, well done. Keep training hard and you just might make it into the nasal drip trials! THIS week you will need to watch your back, someone just might be standing behind you and it won’t necessarily be a gun in their pocket! THIS week you will have one of the best camping holidays ever with your love . . . you’ll return home and she will stay! THIS week will be a horror week for you in the love department . . . there has been a sale on and there’s nothing left for you so just go away!