E-lov­ing on the cards

Port Douglas & Mossman Gazette - - VALENTINE'S DAY -

AP­PAR­ENTLY there will be 15 mil­lion e-valen­tine cards sent on Valen­tine’s day.

A star­tling fact in­deed, be­cause as I look around no one seems to be talk­ing to each other.

You see the young peo­ple, old peo­ple, and some­times kids in prams all glued to that lit­tle screen that has be­come – as one ad­ver­tis­ing cam­paign says – ‘‘a life­time com­pan­ion’’.

So what do you give your life­time com­pan­ion when Fe­bru­ary 14 comes around? Let’s look at what your LC (Life­time Com­pan­ion) does for you and if it re­quires a Valen­tine’s Day card.

1. Wants your un­di­vided at­ten­tion. But if it’s hav­ing a lie down to recharge its bat­ter­ies it won’t be able to keep you com­pany.

2. Plays games with you. But per­sis­tently wants to win.

3. Knows all your friends. But doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily like them. 4. High main­te­nance. 5. Tells you where to go when driv­ing. 6. Rings you when it knows you have just gone out for a drink with friends.

On the face of it these few facts point to a nor­mal healthy re­la­tion­ship. So go­ing dig­i­tal you need to get your LC some­thing that re­ally shows how you feel. Some­thing that sig­ni­fies the love.

There are e-cards. Some even have mu­sic and mov­ing pic­tures. A vir­tual box of choco­lates maybe. You could text a ILY, LMAO, YMMD* mes­sage. Per­haps a new out­fit might do the trick.

Or, you could go for a love coupon. The per­fect gift for that spe­cial re­la­tion­ship. They sound ex­cit­ing, dif­fer­ent and in­di­vid­u­ally tai­lored. No-one wants to look cheap on that spe­cial day. You will have your Life­time Com­pan­ion in the palm of your hand with such largesse. It might just lead to that all im­por­tant con­tract.

Valen­tine’s Day is all about show­ing the love. I’m all for it, and as soon as I find out what a love coupon is, I want one.

*I love you, Laugh my ass off, You made my day.

– by Het­tie Ash­win. Het­tie’s new col­umn, Slip­pery Grip, will de­but next week in the Gazettte. Her new book, Mr Tripp Buys A Life­style, was re­leased this week and can be bought on­line.

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